I am newly married. It was an arranged marriage. But my husband keeps complaining that there is no “chemistry” between us. What should I do? PS, Deonar
Sorry to know your struggle in your newly arranged marriage. Have an honest, open conversation without any hesitation. Be soft but speak up. Marriage works well with good interaction. Keeping silent and expecting things to settle doesn’t happen on its own. “No chemistry between us” needs to be elaborated. So, talk openly. Learn what he likes and dislikes sexually. You should also express your likes and dislikes. Understanding each other will gradually develop intimacy.
Intimacy doesn’t mean only physical touch. It is sharing emotions, fears, truths, where the partner listens with kindness and understanding. This will help both of you connect. Talk it out across the table. Sleep over it. Complaining ruins the relationship. True love is in the willingness to grow together, physically and emotionally too. Meet a sexologist at the right time who will carry forward on a positive note, thus guiding you to build beautiful chemistry between you both.
I have been an issueless divorcee for the past 14 years. Now suddenly a good marriage offer has come. However, I am apprehensive given the fact that I've had traumatic sexual episodes in my first marriage. Please advise. MI, Matunga
Water your own roots and heal with self-compassion. Happy moments are awaiting in your life. Good to know you are willing to move ahead in life. Past experiences do bother and pop up, breaking confidence sometimes. Meet a sexologist personally who will not judge you and will listen to you empathetically. You too will have an open space to pour out your traumatic sexual episodes. It will help you understand the past and let go with wisdom. Sex therapy will bring back self-esteem. It will help you erase the past too, as it heals you completely at the level of mind-body-soul and not just the symptoms.
I am a 53-year-old man suddenly suffering from erectile dysfunction. I am devastated. What should I do? NB, Bandra
Hold your heart, Sir. Your physical age is 53, but we all remain young mentally as in our 20s. The treatment is simple. You need to consult a sexologist who will figure out the reasons for losing your erection. The reasons for your ED can be physiological (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) or emotional (stress, fatigue and disputes). Treatment will be given to you accordingly. You will regain your erection too.
Read on: mydoctortells.com/ed
Dr Hetal Gosalia, Samadhan Health Studio. Executive Committee Member CSEP-(MH) Queries may be sent to fpj.sexmatters@gmail.com
