North 24 Parganas: West Bengal Chief Minister and Trinamool Congress supremo Mamata Banerjee addresses an election rally in support of party candidate from Barrackpore seat Dinesh Trivedi for Lok Sabha polls, at Barrackpore in North 24 Parganas, Thursday, May 2, 2019. (PTI Photo)(PTI5_2_2019_000156B)
North 24 Parganas: West Bengal Chief Minister and Trinamool Congress supremo Mamata Banerjee addresses an election rally in support of party candidate from Barrackpore seat Dinesh Trivedi for Lok Sabha polls, at Barrackpore in North 24 Parganas, Thursday, May 2, 2019. (PTI Photo)(PTI5_2_2019_000156B)

This chaiwala is slowly turning into a male Norma (Sunset Boulevard fame, folks). The whole ‘rustic vigyaan’, bereft of gyaan, has me running for cover every now and then. Just to play hide-n-seek, you know. His snooping agencies are in full force against our ilk, so a cloud cover will come in handy for protection from those wannabe James Bonds, like Dovals.

I hope Nikon is compiling all their facts and figures to sue Feku for $100 million, for having manufactured the first digital camera from scratch, while they were playing gotis, shee naughties, marbles. Poor blokes, they put in years of effort and intelligence, only to be told by Feku he had a DSLR camera even before them. They must be so darn heartbroken, I hope they know the power of Fevikwik.

Raj Thackeray was not one to let this cloud simply float by and said UN had passed a resolution unanimously that all countries should go to war in the monsoon only. Remember Ajit’s instruction to Raabert? (“Iss h****i ko liquid oxygen mein daal do. Liquid isey jeene nahi dega aur oxygen isey marne nahin dega.”) In a similar vein, “The target country will not know how it was hit and the cloud cover will make detection difficult.” There has been a cloudburst of memes and jokes since. Now Didi needs to learn something from the our Lata Didi’s pet Thackeray. Of late, he has been serving kadak chai to the chaiwala. Didi needs to hire him to continue her Raj in West Bengal. Someone tell her fast, please.

What Didi has done is, give more importance to the Bada Jhol Party and hope she hasn’t helped them leave footprint in West Bengal. Sad. Now she too is behaving like his long-lost sister. Sheh…that meme actually makes her look like Serena Williams, please NO offence. I mean it absolutely positively. Didi should have just taken it sportingly, saying the look was authentic, in fact, she should have told that BJPwali to join her media and creative team. Gosh! What an ace that would have been. Sadly, she has now given ammo to those big bad men, who are using their paid disrupters to unleash violence.

There is no one god, it appears. There are those general gods for the rest of us and special gods for the rich and super-rich. Now MS Dhoni’s wife, who was a witness to the finals, yes, the same Sakshi, prayed to her gods fervently. Then the cameras, in style, zoomed on Nitaben praying to her dear god and you saw which side won. Even Gods are partial, I’m telling you, so, catch the richest god. Losing apart, even the game-changer Dhoni was given a controversial out. Life is not fair, whether on earth or in parlok.

And when I say catch the richest god and appease him, see how Bhabhiji went and placed the trophy at the foot of Mumbai’s deity, Lord Ganesha at Siddhivinayak. See for yourself, gods need appeasement. I’m telling you, it’s all big brother’s clout!

Mumbai: Mumbai Indians (MI) owner Nita Ambani holds an IPL winning trophy as she arrives at Siddhivinayak Temple, in Mumbai, Tuesday, May 14, 2019. (PTI Photo)<br />(PTI5_15_2019_000023B)
Mumbai: Mumbai Indians (MI) owner Nita Ambani holds an IPL winning trophy as she arrives at Siddhivinayak Temple, in Mumbai, Tuesday, May 14, 2019. (PTI Photo)
(PTI5_15_2019_000023B)

Bade bhaiya is the protector! He bails out younger brother, supports the wife’s team for maximum output, guess he pays as much too. Then has tried to save the South Mumbai Congress candidate too and even Narendrabhai has not made one sound of protest. We should really have a world’s Bade Bhaiyya Day, sooner the better.