Revolver Ranee: Bappa time and Chidu’s high five

Now, now, we should call Mumbai the drowning city, or wait, sunken city. But still we shall have lofty, towering Ganpati idols, each outdoing the other. Aai Ganpati shappat, this time one enthu-cutlet mandal has shown the ultimate deity of prosperity as a diet-conscious, non-modak eating tight-stomached, 12-pack sporting Ganesha.

Why, oh why? Usne kya bigaada aapka, I want to ask. Ganpati can’t be looking like your gym instructor, man, V-shaped, with a thin, shrunken trunk. Such idol-makers and mandals should be banished from the face of Mumbai. Should be sent seven seas away. It gave me such stress, I binge-ate ukdiche modak, for my dear Ganpati. Me eating and he, is same-to-same.

Speaking of which, while Mumbaikars wait for visarjan, Ganpati bappa reminded us of our ills and our city’s near-visarjan happened, literally. This city may soon make it to children’s books as a floating city. We do not have many years to rectifying, all we can now do is damage control.

But we must continue to go hammer-and-tongs at those chopping remaining greens. Given the number of trees being chopped down mercilessly, now we should say, Mumbai - The Concrete Jungle. Whatay fun, trees now have a vine, (same Lata Didi), rooting for them.

She is on song, currently. Just as I try to take in this shock, on the side, a cub’s cub has tried a mini-roar. Now, after the enforcement directorate’s questioning, the diehard Raj loyalist has, for the first time, objected to tree-felling at Aarey. No sooner had she tweeted, than the cub’s cub followed quietly. No, no Motabhai or PM clout can tear apart this loyalty. But poor Lata Didi, in her senior years also, peepulz harshly remind her of her flighty ‘no flyover at Pedder Road’ stand. But then such is life, always coming full circle.

P Chidambaram
P Chidambaram

Speaking of whom, at least now, the grand dame of Pedder Road should support raw, new talent. That Ranu Mondal is becoming famous with Didiji’s evergreen song, Ek pyaar ka naghma hai, and Didiji has not taken it well. Aarey, imitation is the best form of flattery, and a compliment too.

What goes of anyone’s to say, Tu Lata. But no, our diva of Pedder Road got angry, in fact, so angry that she said, ‘You are imitating and your success will be brief.’ Kasa honaar aata? Aah, may be she is angry for not getting the copyright fee. Purchasing will fetch her, not copying na, so then naturally ga-ga-ga-gussa she is doing.

What, you all don’t know, I’m told Antilia celebrities have made their Ganpati more famous than Lalbaugcha raja. Their visarjan is one story, a birdie told they fling modaks, laddoos through car windows from atop a truck. Think only bada bhai is rocking in this economy.

This year what pittance returns we are getting, maa, I am so ashamed. I am going to write it off to the PM’s personal fund! My hard-earned money all gone, here, please to take my alms, because I will not get more than chaney-daaney. I totally get the high five by P Chidambaram. That is one smirk which resonates with mine, hai na.

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