There was a time I wanted to die

FPJ Bureau | Updated on: Sunday, June 02, 2019, 12:32 AM IST


Tells Vidya Malvade in an exclusive rendezvous to Lipika Varma.

Vidya Malvade is aware that her career has not had the graph one would have assumed considering ‘Chak De! India’s’ success. “My film career hasn’t taken off as it should have. But, I have now got more than what I wanted. I believe in miracles and magic. I lost someone in a fraction of a second. I believed he was in a different world. I always felt he would return one day but then I lost hope in life and planned to kill myself. I was ready to die. Today, I am thankful to God for He has substituted my life with so many other happy relationships,” says the actress, adding, “I am glad I have parents who supported me whole-heartedly while I was shattered by the death of my first husband. I was so desperate that I had decided to commit suicide. I managed to stick on only because of my parents whose tears mattered a lot to me. They begged of me to live for their sake.”


Talking about her slow-paced filmy career she says, “Yeah! But there are so many other things for me to do. I cannot help if luck has not supported me on my professional front. You never know what is in store ahead.”

Saying time is a great heeler she philosophises, “My parents and sisters were my biggest support during that time. People said time heals and I would wonder if they are mad. But eventually time has definitely moved on and, when I look back, I feel that I never knew I was capable of so much happiness. My second hubby loves me crazily.”

She does not want to lose touch with her family. “In today’s fast paced world it is the relationship with your folks that keeps you going, you can cry on their shoulders whenever you face problems. They are the ones who come to your help. Always. I make it a point to meet my sisters, both of whom are in the US, at least once a year. There’s so much violence these days that you never know what will happen to your loved ones,” says Vidya.


Turning philosophical again, she says, “So many types of people and tragedies. It doesn’t take a fraction of a second for them to kill someone for no reason. I know how it is to lose a loved one, it took me years to come out of it and I was shattered. I look at my parents and the shock and pain on their faces. Today, when I see them happy I feel so much proud. Dad is not keeping well and I get him the best treatment. I want him to be with me always. I know the pains and anguish of separation from your beloved.”

Vidya’s first husband Capt Arvind Singh Bagga died in 2000 after his plane collided with a building in Patna. Vidya, who believes in the phrase ‘there is always a second chance’, moved on and married Sanjay Dayma, associate director to Ashutosh Gowariker, in 2009.

All praises for her current mother-in law she says, “My mom-in-law is very sweet and she loves watching all the ‘saas-bahu’ sagas. She is very forward in her thinking. I am allowed to dress the way I wish to. I love wearing Indian clothes, so during festivals I wear them. My mom-in-law says ‘if she makes my son happy I will take her’. She feels happy when her friends praise me. I have learnt how to make ‘daal bati’, ‘churma’, ‘ker sangri ki sabzi’ and ‘daal dhokli’ from her.”


The actress adds, “It is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I have realised that I cook well. Sanjay is a foodie and eats whatever I cook. I cook ‘biryani’, pastas and a lot of Indian and continental dishes. I watch cookery shows on TV and love everything from shepherds’ pie to pudding.”

Talking about the obvious glow on her face, the actress who played the role of the captain of the Indian hockey team in the 2007 movie, says she is enjoying marital bliss for now. “You can see the happiness on my face, can’t you? Married to Sanjay, I feel I have found happiness once again. Our lives are in the hands of the almighty. He who looks after us has both happiness and sadness in store for us,” concludes Vidya.

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Published on: Tuesday, November 13, 2012, 05:50 AM IST