Hideously vulgar posters, bare-faced denials of relationships and even babies, abusive trolling… There’s loads we need a breather from, feels Nichola Pais.
The shenanigans of the Censor Board are starting to get a little too predictable. If they are not deeming scenes “very vulgar” or the words used in songs “very offensive,” CBFC chief Pahlaj Nihalani recently had everyone acutely embarrassed on his account when he alleged that filmmaker Anurag Kashyap had been paid by the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) to show Punjab in a bad light. Kashyap himself had responded with… “I feel ashamed in even defending myself on such an allegation.”
Why the august body repeatedly insists on putting its foot into its mouth is a mystery, when its purview is simply to “keep within the bounds of its job, which is to certify and classify films according to the age and maturity of audiences,” as recommended by veteran filmmaker Shyam Benegal, who heads a committee tasked with rethinking the powers, functioning and composition of CBFC. The smack on the hand from the High Court hasn’t helped. “Everybody has a choice.
Let people decide whether a movie is good or bad … Hand over the remote to people – let them decide what to watch and when to switch off, whether it is television or cinema,” the judges berated the Board during the Udta Punjab controversy. The self-appointed strict moral guardian that is the CBFC is unconvinced. “Maybe it’s time to get the children out of CBFC and bar them from examining adult films #saatuchakkey #Haraamkhor,” snorted Kashyap recently. It’s time indeed!
“While most people have alarm clocks, I get to wake up every morning to ‘gay ma*****od, good morning’.” That was Karan Johar addressing the relentless trolling he faces on social media. Celebrity members of the Twitterati have occasionally found the heat too much handle – Rishi Kapoor had quit temporarily, explaining, “Too much negativity abusive language and disregard for seniors. Will retire from Twitter coz it has only given me grief.” Salman had also threatened, in typical Salmanesque spelling, “I vil not b on this social net work anymore. Bus khallas, khatam, wanna follow me n want me to b here to Pyar mohobbat se raho. Or I am out.” Upset by the hate his fans were spewing at his contemporaries/ rivals Shah Rukh and Aamir, he had warned, “N for my fans don’t let me dwn. Srk n amir khan r my friend toh buss. Bhad mein gaya No 1,2,3. Samjhe kya?”
Most celebrities prefer to ignore the relentless trolling – Karan shares that he has been through the stages, from anger to indifference to high levels of amusement. But no matter how thick a skin you try to cultivate, being greeted by a daily flurry of ‘Chakka’, ‘Gay’ and ‘Chupkarch***ye’, is unforgivable. For the “particular brand of pervert just looking to hate,” KJo informed that you maybe as sad, lonely and messed as him but you’re also a lot less nice. So, well, to borrow your own phrase – ‘Bas karch***ye’.
We fully agree with filmmaker, social activist and CBFC office bearer Ashoke Pandit when he proclaims that we have to live in today’s times and today’s generation is prepared for adult movies. Sex comedies make money, there’s a market for them, Madhur Bhandarkar reminds. Who can argue when one of the poster boys of this genre, Aftab Shivdasani says, “Barring a few narrow-minded pockets of society, people across the country are widening their mindsets and becoming more receptive to newer concepts and change.” By all means, let the patrons of adult comedy venture into the theatres for their fill.
Why must the rest of us be subjected to the hideous, vulgarity-dripping film posters? Who in their right minds allows these eye-sores to emerge in the public eye, anyway?
Sunny Leone as Lily/ Laila flaunting her assets in bikini tops in the Mastizaade poster is hot; Tusshar Kapoor and Vir Das squeezing large balloons against their chests as they make lascivious expression? Several degrees lower than tacky. The one that features these dudes on a beach aiming at Mandana Karimi in Kya Kool Hai Hum 3, is downright nauseating. And does the Great Grand Masti poster really need to flaunt a gleeful looking Vivek Oberoi, Aftaab Shivdasani and Riteish Deshmukh stroking a cat who bears the name tag ‘Pussy’ around her neck? Boys will be boys huh, Mr. Nihalani and Co.?
Not a day goes by without the websites and the dailies providing salacious details of fights, flings, break-ups and make-ups. You greedily absorb the details and then spend the rest of the day ignoring urgent tasks struggling to zero in on the identity of the persons involved…Persons whose dark deeds can be described but never their fair names! Sure, it’s easy enough to guess which rumoured B-town couple spent hours locked in the newly-single actor’s vanity van…Ditto for the actress who lost out on a major endorsement deal due to bad press. It’s when it comes to the likes of ‘This actor is feeling insecure of co-star’ and ‘This married Bollywood star is smitten by an actress’ that the problem arises… B-town is brimming with names who would blindly fit into such categories! So, tabloid tabbies, can we at least have the initials please?