Nearly 40 Men Perform Symbolic ‘Last Rites’ For Estranged Relationships At Banganga Tank Amid Matrimonial Disputes

Mumbai: For nearly 40 men who gathered at the Banganga Tank in Walkeshwar on Sunday afternoon, the rituals were meant to mark an emotional closure to relationships that, they said, had left them caught in prolonged matrimonial disputes and legal battles.

Ceremony During Pitru Paksha

The ceremony was held during Pitru Paksha, the 16-lunar-day period when Hindus perform shraddh and offer tarpan, or water offerings, in remembrance of deceased relatives on the corresponding tithi.

At the ancient tank, one of the participants, who had trained as a Hindu priest, led the rituals described as 'Natyamcha Pindan' by Amit Deshpande, founder of men's rights group The Vaastav Foundation. The annual ceremony is intended as a symbolic and therapeutic exercise for men facing prolonged matrimonial disputes.

‘Helps Men Move Forward’

"By performing these symbolic last rites for estranged relationships, men get help to let go of past trauma, recover from mental fatigue, and move forward with their lives," said Deshpande.

The Foundation said the ritual seeks to draw attention to what it describes as the systemic, social and emotional difficulties faced by men dealing with broken marriages and lengthy legal proceedings.

‘Formal End To Vow’

"While marriage and divorce are legal events, there is a certain ambiguity associated with Hindu marriage rites. Hindu scriptures do not mention divorce and these rituals represent a formal end to a religious vow," Deshpande said.

The Foundation has been campaigning for gender-neutral laws and seeks changes to Sections 85 and 86 of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita (BNS), which deal with cruelty by a husband or his relatives towards a woman. The provisions replaced Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code.

Changes To DV Act Sought

It has also called for the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, to be made gender-neutral, including replacing references to a 'woman' with 'spouse'. Men's rights groups have similarly sought to extend the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013, commonly known as the POSH Act, to cover men, besides seeking a separate law to protect men from sexual assault, including rape.

The Foundation's position on alleged misuse of matrimonial and domestic violence laws, however, is disputed by women's rights groups, which maintain that women continue to face disproportionate levels of domestic violence.

Senior matrimonial lawyer Mrunalini Deshmukh said there was no doubt that women had historically faced domestic violence in various forms and that such abuse was unacceptable. At the same time, she said genuine cases often did not reach courts.

"The number of cases which are filed on the wrong advice of lawyers is large and while genuine cases need to be dealt with firmly by the police and courts, it is largely the privileged classes that use the law. Cases are settled out of court for money or are not proved," she said.

Deshmukh said gender-neutral laws were "absolutely the need of the hour". She added that where allegations are not proved, the appropriate response should not necessarily be dismissal alone but accountability where a false complaint is established.

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