‘Want To Connect Quickly’: Major Khushboo Patani On Modern Relationships, Instant Gratification And Emotional Connections

Relationships nowadays are changing, evolving or being shaped more by digitalisation. Everyone is chasing, running, moving on to the next thing and repeating the process, which seems like an endless loop.

Partnerships increasingly function as connections between independent equals instead of traditional provider-receiver roles. Perhaps this could be one of the reasons for questioning relationships, making quick choices and moving on. Or maybe not?

Perhaps digitalisation has not fundamentally changed our need for love, companionship or belonging. Instead, it has changed how quickly we form expectations, compare experiences and make decisions about staying or leaving. Major Khushboo Patani, sister of Bollywood actress Disha Patani, has opened up about changing relationship dynamics and how people approach emotional connections in today's fast-paced world. Her observations have drawn attention to the growing conversation around relationships, communication and the expectations people bring into their personal lives.

Major Khushboo Patani shares a view on modern relationships

Major Khushboo Patani, known as a self-defence advocate, fitness coach and motivational speaker, served in the military from 2013 to 2024, rising to the rank of Major. After retiring from active service in 2024, she transitioned into a career as a fitness coach. On Tuesday, October 20, she shared a video on her Instagram handle, discussing modern relationships and how changing dynamics affect people's lives. Sharing the long-form video, she captioned it, "What's your reason?"

Major Khushboo Patani on changing relationship dynamics

Khushboo Patani, who has a background in the Indian Army, has shared her perspective on how people increasingly seek quick connections in relationships. "Love relationship is such a thing in which your hormones are involved very heavily. That is such a thing that a person needs very soon. In which there is no patience, there is no restraint," says Khushboo.

Choosing reflects our own personality

Modern relationships are increasingly influenced by changing lifestyles, professional commitments and digital communication. People can connect with others across geographical boundaries, but the abundance of choices and the pressure to respond instantly can also create unrealistic expectations. On talking about being stuck with the same person or choosing the same person again and again.

She says, "You want to connect to somebody quickly without much time. And this is the only reason why we are stuck with the same person. Because if we go towards a new person then meeting him, talking to him, understanding him, explaining about yourself. My favourite colour is this, I like this. So while doing it, it will take years." Looking for short-term gratification, we choose the same person. "Because we don't want to work hard. So it is not about that person that he has done some magic on us. No, it is about our own personality," says the Major.

Artificial dopamine hits

Artificial dopamine is a popular wellness and psychology term for the short-lived, effortless rush of pleasure which your brain releases during high-stimulation, low-effort activities. All this comes from indulging in the digital world, like scrolling social media, playing video games, online shopping and eating sugary junk food.

Calling people out for working on the same formula of wanting everything so fast, she explains, "The sad thing is that nowadays many people are of the same personality. Why? Because we have the insta scrolling. Or the very extreme level, artificial dopamine hits which we use from the mobile phone. So that is our instant dopamine hit. We don't have to go to Antarctica to see the snow. We can see the snow in our mobile phone."

Emotional maturity and taking things slow and steady could be the solution, that means rather than rushing into emotional intimacy, allowing connections to develop naturally can help people understand whether their expectations and long-term goals align.