Navigating Menopause, Vaginal Dryness, & Changing Sexual Desire: Expert Tips For Couples To Reignite Intimacy

My wife is 54 years old and has had menopause. Now she has zero interest in sex. Is there a way out? SD, Thane

Yes, the way out is to have patience, as it is a temporary phase. At present, your physical presence with emotional support matters to her a lot. Intimacy can be in the form of caring and cuddling, too. With a good interpersonal relationship, after a period, she will bounce back to normal. It is very common for women to lose interest during menopause due to changes taking place in their bodies. Arousal may take time. You can incorporate some new, exciting ways.

Usually, the dry vagina hurts due to a lack of lubrication during intercourse. So, use some water-based jelly. You can even meet a gynaecologist who may suggest hormone replacement therapy. Otherwise, visit an experienced sexologist. What matters is a positive bond at present. It will eventually bounce back to a healthy sex life. Some women feel free from pregnancy and contraceptive worries, which helps them to be more active than before. So, do not lose hope. Feel free to release yourself with masturbation, which is normal.

We have been married for 10 years and have had a normal sex life. Now all of a sudden my wife is insisting that I use a condom even though she wears a copper T. What should I do? KVK, Mulund

Ask her why she is insisting you wear a condom. She might have her own valid reasons. Some common factors are: she might have heard of someone getting pregnant in spite of a Cu-T. It is rare but it does happen. Or she might have heard that condoms aid delayed ejaculation for increasing the timing during intercourse to have more fun. Or she is fearing some sexually transmitted infections In short, it is wise to talk openly across a coffee table. It is always the best solution rather than asking anyone or creating doubts in mind. Listen to what she has to say calmly. You both can then mutually decide with due respect for each other.

Of late my vagina is totally dry. This is affecting intercourse. KI, Mahim

Yes, a dry vagina hurts during intercourse. It leads to burning and itching too. Meet a gynaecologist and rule out any infection. You haven't mentioned your age. It can be due to hormonal imbalance in the body. And yes, the most important factor for lubrication is mood. Sometimes due to work stress or emotional issues, or relationship discord, the interest is less. It is like the body saying 'No' to intercourse. Focus on your rest and see how you can be happy and relaxed. Watch erotic romantic movies or read/listen to stories which seem exciting to you. The sex centre is in the brain. Thoughts of sex or visuals trigger the sex centre. Remember the simple rule: More the pleasure... more the lubrication.