Is FOBI The New FOMO? Why People Are Choosing To Opt Out

Is it time to bid ‘goodbye’ to FOMO and say a ‘hi’ to FOBI on the flip side? Only recently, JOMO announced its loud arrival replacing the ‘fear of missing out’ syndrome with the boundless ‘joy’ of being indifferent and remote — thus clamming up oneself into a shell of serene silence. Now, a sudden sigh of relief takes this stance a little further with a higher decibel and greater emphasis to remain happily secluded from the hotspots of activity and electrifying energy.

For instance, there’s this palpable urge among a segment of people to avoid public avenues blaring with deafening sounds and a flurry of colourful events, happening social circuits like open mic sessions or wherever a thick mass of crowd looks bursting at the seams.

So, FOBI or the ‘fear of being included’ emerges with all guns blazing as the new mantra for many introverts and party poopers. It could be precisely dubbed the self-proclaimed cousin of ROMO (relief of missing out).

The soft-spoken, hardly spotted or seldom-speaking lot is basking in this self-indulgent exile with its conspicuous absence from social hubs. They willingly lie low or miss in action with no signs of regret. Even a few good celebrities and stars are lovingly dodging the paparazzis and movie premiers or the dazzling flashbulbs at red-carpet appearances.

Is FOBI Fever the New Cool?

Bet you won’t buy this. But many a mind is consciously staying aloof with an ‘ignorance is bliss’ status or enjoying the new FOBI fad. Just picture this for proof. Such individuals are said to eagerly exclude themselves from a swarm of social events and the surrounding world right from the morning they wake up to until the hour they hit the sack at night. Some people inherently like being single souls in the maze of life or wallowing as solitary reapers in the lush crop fields, far from the maddening din.

If you have a stage fright or get tongue-tied in public, feel the jitters before a social interaction or become ‘alone’ in the middle of a dense crowd — trust your instincts to feel much calmer and lighter by giving a zillion things on your platter the slip.

As a matter of fact, you are reluctant to join a group once invited or get scared and overstressed even mulling over such a possibility. You prefer going on your own, live in a closet like a cocooned insect or travel solo like a wandering vessel in the ocean. At the slightest opportunity, you look to wriggle out of a mess or leave a soiree abruptly when it peaks.

Being Oneself

It is a societal propensity to segregate people who have no qualms about living in isolation. They like being on their own trips — whether for soul-searching or out of natural inclination.

“I love unwinding in my personal space. After talking at length to prospective students for academic and career counselling over the week, I at times feel the need to rest my vocal chords. Watching a series on OTT, reading a novel or listening to music on iPod make me relax and while away the time pleasurably,” shares Raunaq Raina Saraf, senior manager at Online Manipal.

“Earlier, I used to even do theatre as an amateur actor but my hectic profession no longer allows me to pursue my passion even as a part-timer. So, I often make it a point to sneak into an auditorium alone on my day off to watch a play in performance. This drowns me into nostalgia and lends me a feel-good vibe,” reveals the education adviser.

Ditto is the case of Mass Communication student Ananya Mitra who doesn’t care to be called a ‘loner’ by her friends and classmates. “There’s no harm being your own gal pal. I love lounging around myself at malls and multiplexes, checking out things first-hand and experiencing the world with my own eyes and ears,” she declares.

For Bangalore-based young PR professional Atul Singh, the best place to chill on earth is the gym as he’s a fitness freak. “I do strength training to be in good shape and maintain my muscle, bone and joint health, which is equivalent to insuring one’s wealth and assets. Human body is like a machine to me. You need to keep it well-oiled besides reaping other benefits from your routine workouts. I also read up newspaper columns on a frequent basis, zip around on the bike and walk my pet doggies,” he volunteers.

Relatable Ambience

Anything that is relevant and relatable appeals to FOBIites, be it people or places. They love doing gupshup and snacking behind closed doors with a niche gathering or prefer inviting their inner friends’ circle to home for a sleepover during festivities instead of chilling outside where the dazzle of lights, glitter of crackers and pops of colours beckon them. Even the tech-savvy whizkids often for a change wish to detach themselves from a noisy gizmo or a responsive AI-aided voice assistant.

“I usually favour staycations packaged with visits to local attractions and tourist spots over ganging up at a buddy’s place for a boisterous pajama party,” affirms teenager Oishi Ghosh who likes keeping to herself maximum time.

Many reckon it as a smart trend to mingle one to one on physical platforms in lieu of virtual domains and see eye to eye for heart-to-heart talks. When words fall short, emotions take precedence. “We are gradually losing touch with tangible experiences and privacy that fetch personal care and effort to heal our mental wounds and psychological crisis,” claims life coach Vasudha Jha.

Intimate Celebrations

Even revelry or merrymaking is confined to low-key affairs. Many couples are opting for slim, toned-down weddings with muted decor, soothing colours, zero pre or post-nuptial shoots and a simple dress for their big day. Is this to slash surplus arrangements and usher in the conjugal union minus the extravagance of big fat Indian marriages?

“Today’s couples are redefining what truly matters and resonates with their conscience. They’re choosing mindful, subdued celebrations over magnified spectacles — focusing only on love, togetherness and authenticity rather than grandeur. An understated wedding doesn’t mean any less emotion but bolsters the underlying ethical purpose. It’s about celebrating the sacred bond responsibly without the glut of flamboyance,” notes fashion designer Anjali Phougat.

Digital Detox

Surprisingly, a tribe of individuals seems already reeling under the fatigue of e-garbage, ringxiety (never-ending buzz of mobile ringtone), technical verbose, deluge of big data (facts and figures) and whatnot, consequently feeling completely drained.

“We are absolutely swamped. We need a break from this digital overdrive and snap all ties with the channels feeding overwhelming information for digital cleansing,” blurts out Singh from Bangalore. “You can’t blame feeling sapped out after spending long hours at desk constantly engaging your nerves online. What about work-life balance then?” he rues.

But can a generation of scrollers and tech whizkids, which is so badly hooked to the electronic media, suddenly go into a switch-off mode? Well, we seriously doubt. It doesn’t seem easy at all to escape the onslaughts of the myriad tentacles of connectivity and their monstrous impact.

Doctor’s Take

It’s important to strike a perfect balance between reality and the virtual realm. But what’s the immediate remedy at hand from this digital diarrhoea?

“Trim and regulate its daily consumption,” suggests neurologist Dr Suhas VP.

People are wary of overusing their electronic gadgets as that might cause irreparable harm to their brain. “Excessive screen exposure to android phones and computers can affect brain function indirectly. Continuous stimulation from digital media reduces attention span, impairs sleep due to blue light emission and may also induce eye strain and headaches. In children and adolescents, prolonged screen time is linked to minimal physical activity, poor social interaction and delayed cognitive development. While gadgets don’t directly damage brain tissue, their misuse over a considerable period may alter behavior pattern, focus and even stoke mood swings,” warns the doctor.

ROMO, the New Currency

Of late, Academy Award-winning Hollywood actor Cillian Murphy broached ROMO (relief of missing out) on the sidelines of promoting his movie Steve at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF). The coinage gained enough traction when he candidly confessed that he keeps experiencing ROMO — a wave of optimism — because of his elusive nature.

He cited occasions as huge as even watching a Christopher Nolan film with whom he has done six projects to date but is visibly cheery about not being signed on in his upcoming flick The Odyssey. Murphy concludes that he feels much upbeat when he isn’t part of an ensemble starcast in a Nolan flick as he doesn’t have to bother looking at himself onscreen and can rather enjoy the movie just as a die-hard fan. Murphy later repeated this ROMO fixation of his in an interview episode on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert.

In a recent media interview, actor Imran Khan (of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na fame and actor Aamir Khan’s nephew) admitted of having FOBI or the fear of being included in social activities. Also, in the second season of Wednesday series, the titular character Wednesday Addams divulges to have FOBI, her hidden fear of being roped into group activities, which unsettles her. Therefore, she tries to flee the camp behind everybody’s back when the head suddenly catches her.

FOBI Funs

Many are willingly turning a recluse, opting for slow travel on independent or intimate-group trips, going offline and gadget free, engaging in community services, embracing sustainability, innovating eco-friendly projects, listening to pep talks, visiting pilgrimage sites or embarking on devotional tours, upgrading their skillsets, chasing a hobby, plus learning and recreating through D-I-Y handicrafts.

Sad but true, urban spaces create too much noise that is beyond tolerable limits. Psychologists perceive that it is important to enjoy anonymity and live in tranquility, far from the hustle and bustle of life.

“Urban congestion triggers unbearable cacophony, evidently due to a bulging populace, traffic snarls and concentrated human activity. It is a persistent form of pollution that impacts health and our overall well-being. Plus, it forces people to move towards greener pastures for a wellness reset in pure air,” reports Jha.

Published on: Sunday, January 18, 2026, 08:30 AM IST