DMs VS Letters: Is Old-School Love Writing Back?

In the age of quick texts and blue ticks, writing letters is silently making a comeback through people who prefer to say what’s in their heart, in written words. There’s no rush and no word limit. Take Poulomi Roychowdhury (33), a flight attendant from New Delhi, who has found a way of surprising her partner as she jets off to far away countries on long hauls. “I write him letters and hide them for him to find. Sometimes in his car’s seat pocket or may be in his bag that he carries”, she informs. With a sheepish look, she mentions that while it might sound silly or childish, it is a beautiful ritual for the couple. Her partner replies in his diary, and she keeps them with her as little notes when she is away. Similarly for Divyanshi Bhardwaj (22), also from New Delhi, letters are the best mode of communication with her boyfriend who is in the Indian Naval Academy. About writing letters, she says it is a necessity shaped by circumstance.

“Letter writing teaches you patience and emotional clarity. When you sit down to write, you are forced to organize your thoughts. What may feel overwhelming in your head begins to make sense on paper. In that process, your most genuine emotions come forward”, Bhardwaj adds.

With severe proliferation of digital communication in human life, Gen X and Y are found complaining often about forgetting how to write or even read physical words on print. But all hope is not lost. As Bridgerton on Netflix has brought forward, the art of sharp and witty words can have a far greater impact than said words. Such is the impact of such trivial yet generation-relevant epiphanies, that there are now creators and writers who encourage people to write letters more regularly through social media pages. The Sunday Letter project by British couple Rebecca and Karl is one such initiative, started in response to the number of people who come into their studio cum stationery shop and say what a shame it is that no one writes letters anymore. Their website reads - “The act of writing itself gives us a much needed pause - it’s the gift of time to the recipient but it’s a gift to yourself, too.”

Aniket Khade (25) from Mumbai agrees with this idea, and applies it in his still blooming, just over a year old relationship. Talking about the power of letters, he says, “when she blocks me after a very fake fight, letters become my way of reaching her, because writing feels more intentional and sincere than texts, especially when the words need to land softly”. He admits that it is his own way of apologising, reassuring her, and reminding her that she’s appreciated.

For communications professionals especially, letters and notes help them remain connected with writing by hand. Tanya Katta (30) from New Delhi values handwritten notes, believing one’s writing reflects true emotions, and says, “it saddens me that greeting cards have faded away”.

“Unlike WhatsApp messages that get lost, letters feel like keepsakes to cherish”, Katta added. She saves every letter she writes and gets and likes to write when upset, because that is how you “show love”, she says.

Letters often carry meaning, beyond physical realms. Ask Tanni Mandal (45) from Mumbai, who lost her mother 13 years ago. Once a week, she pens down her thoughts, feelings and anything new - like ideas or epiphanies to her mother in a letter in her own hand, in a language or a mix of many, as she chooses. “After an age, women especially find it hard to find like minded people to share their thoughts with. I feel women like me should do this more often because writing a letter to yourself or a loved one (in my case my late mother) is like writing to your best friend”, she confides.

Even in the case of forgotten love, letters often provide an inner view of people who have passed, to family members who remain and find out about such provenance in some fated discovery during a home-cleaning. Souveek Chatterjee (34), from Kolkata found out about the deep love his grandparents shared many years after both passed away. “We found letters my grandfather wrote to her (grandmother) when my dad, their eldest, was born in 1946 as he was posted far away in Siliguri at the time. It wasn’t anything salacious but the joy of having a first child was distinctively heartwarming”, he recalls. Written words often have inner meaning, perceivable only to the recipient. In another incident, Chatterjee remembers his mother receiving a bag of fruits with a letter from his dad tucked in. “He was posted in Asansol, back when landlines were the only phones we had and his workplace had a common one. There was a long letter listing the contents and discreetly mentioning cash he had hidden in one packet. My mother began reading it aloud but stopped midway, finishing it silently to herself with a knowing smile on her face.”

Written words often reveal many qualities of the writer to the recipient. While letter writing in itself is an art, in modern love, it is a sign of sincerity, and intention. “When I was choosing my life partner through an arranged match, I based it on the quality of emails they wrote to me. No phone, texts nor exchange of phone numbers until a few months of long emails”, reveals Ranjani S (41), a communications coach from Mumbai.

Young Bhardwaj shares a piece of wisdom. “The exchange of writing and waiting for a response, naturally builds patience in a relationship. Letters teach you to slow down, to value anticipation, and to appreciate effort—and this patience becomes an important foundation for a long-term relationship.”

In an era where love is typed, swiped, and seen, a handwritten note lingers. Creased, scented, and unmistakably exigent upon its intent to make the recipient reflect, comprehend and respond sensibly. Even in the digital age, after the DMs are deleted, chats cleared and phones changed, it’s the ink on the paper that continues to speak louder than digital texts ever could.