Guiding Light: How Can You Preserve Your Friendships?

A true friend is one with whom when you share a problem, you come away feeling lighter and the problem feels much smaller and manageable. Whereas bad company is when you talk about your problem, and you walk away feeling the problem is much bigger than you thought. 

If you are centered and stable; you will be able to make and sustain true friendship. Be friendly in your disposition. You would not want to be friends with someone who is irritable all the time, or is egoistic or nasty.  So examine whether you have these tendencies. If you find you do, then all you need to do is meditate more. Just a few minutes of meditation every day will make your vibrations friendly, and people will love your company.

Your own self-image comes in the way of your being at ease with people. But if you don't have prejudice, you don't create walls with your opinions and judgments about people; then you will be able to connect with anyone and everyone.

Many times, you say something unpleasant that you never really meant. In those moments, you expect your friends to see beyond your words. You don't want them to hold on to what you said. Yet, when they say something hurtful, you hold on to their words and keep them against them. You don't look beyond the words to see the intention behind them.

Hasn't this taken a toll on many friendships in the past?

Often, friendships are lost because the connection remains only at the level of words. It is too superficial. Don't give so much importance to words. Learn to see beyond them. Give people the benefit of the doubt. They may not truly mean what they are saying.

Unintentionally or out of ignorance mistakes have happened through you. You would not like it if your friend labels you for that and bears a grudge against you all the time. So give your friends the space to make mistakes too. Accommodate them. Then you will be a good friend, and your friendship will only grow.

Focus on yourself instead of chasing people or company. Chasing others only leads to misery. Be strong, centered, and improve your skills. When you become useful to the world - whether through knowledge, compassion, or skill - people will naturally be drawn to you.