Sex Matters: In Bed, Dirty Talk Is Sexy

I am 65 years old and my wife is 60. We have sex twice a week. Though I get moderate erection, I don’t ejaculate on many occasions. Is my intake of alcohol the cause? VU, Pune

Yes, alcohol does affect the sexual process. However, it depends on the quantity of intake, too. At 60, erection and ejaculation are not the same as at a young age. Alcohol affects the neurological connection between the brain and genitals, thereby affecting the sexual signals, making you more susceptible to its side effects. It affects your hormones, testosterone levels decrease, blood flow in penis decreases, thereby reducing sensitivity to sexual stimuli. Erection is not good enough and ejaculation is delayed by 20-30 minutes or more, making sex very unsatisfying. At 60, other conditions like blood pressure and diabetes also play a role. So, get your basic body profile checked for overall fitness, and visit a sexologist if it is affecting your relationship.

I am a 30-year-old newlymarried woman. My problem is that my husband does not get a full erection unless we indulge in dirty talk before intercourse. I find this cheap. Is there a way out? PN, Bandra

In bed, dirty and shameless is sexy. Dirty talk is his way of expressing his sexual feelings. Don’t take the words to heart. If it’s still affecting you, talk over with him. Have an open talk and speak up how you feel. He is your life-partner after all. There is no point bearing quietly, as with time it will affect your desires, eventually affecting the intimacy and leading to unnecessary disputes. You both must respect each other’s pattern.

I am a 27-year-old woman and my marriage is fixed for March next year. My fiancé finds my breasts very small and wants me to go in for a silicon implant. Is this advisable? RR, Andheri

It is nice to sense that you love him so much, but if today he is telling you to increase the size of your breasts, tomorrow he may tell you to edit the shape of your nose, and then the face. I am sorry, but it is not advisable. If you wish to have big breasts for yourself, then it’s okay; not for fulfilling his wish. Ask yourself: Is it worth it? Does it guarantee a happy sex life? Marriage means acceptance. Whatever it is... however it is, he must marry you as a person you are. What matters is how you carry yourself and how one performs in bed. Silicon implants have their own side effects: Locally (scar, pain, infection) and systemic (hormone and weight changes, depression, confusion). So think and decide right for life. It is believed by many men that bigger breasts as shown in porn are more sexy and fun, but it is in fantasy not in reality.

Dr Hetal Gosalia Samadhan Health Studio.

Queries may be sent to fpj.sexmatters@gmail.com

Published on: Sunday, August 24, 2025, 11:18 AM IST