‘I Was Shooting Singh Is Kinng While Going Through Depression,' Reveals Sudhanshu Pandey - Exclusive

Sudhanshu Pandey, known for his powerful performances in both television and films, recently joined The Free Press Journal for a candid conversation. The actor opened up about one of the darkest and most transformative phases of his life - his battle with depression in the mid-2000s. Speaking exclusively about the experience, the Anupamaa actor revealed that he suffered from severe panic attacks and a deep depressive phase that even doctors failed to diagnose initially. He shared how he found healing through faith, self-awareness, and open conversations - and why he now believes that phase was, in fact, a 'blessing in disguise.'

Recalling how his mental health struggle began, Sudhanshu shared, “Access you would look for only when you know that you’re going through this. When you don’t even know what has happened to you, then it becomes a very dangerous thing. I had no idea what was happening to me, even my doctor didn’t. She couldn’t recognize what it was. She sent me for an ECG. I was rushed to the hospital but everything came back normal. I still couldn’t breathe beyond a point. It was a terrible panic attack. Terrible, terrible - like really terrible. And in a matter of just a few seconds, I spiraled down into the deepest, darkest state of mind, which is called depression. I reached there, and I had no idea. In my mind, there was a world that I could see, and I was all alone.”

Describing the depth of loneliness he experienced during that period, he said, “It was like watching planet Earth from deep dark space. You’re just suspended there, floating, and you can see the planet Earth from far away. That kind of exclusion you go through - completely alone. It took me some time to understand it. Then I went to a psychiatrist, a friend of mine, who told me what it was and prescribed a tablet to calm me down. I took it and felt like a zombie. I said, ‘This is not happening; I can’t take tablets,’ and I stopped. Four years later, I realized this is not permanent. I said to myself, ‘Sudhanshu Pandey, this is not your end. You are here for much bigger things.’”

Opening up about his faith and how spirituality guided him through the darkness, Sudhanshu revealed, “I surrendered to Mahakal during that time. I started praying far more than I used to and all those things kept helping me. It took me four years to come out of it. But that phase was one of the best phases of my life. It made me look at life differently, understand the value of life and people, and that’s when I started my inward journey. I got in touch with my consciousness. It was a blessing in disguise because it made me a much better actor. It really changed me from inside.”

Recalling how he continued working even during his lowest phase, the actor said, “I was shooting for Singh Is Kinng in 2007 while I was suffering from this. For two months, we were in Australia, on the Gold Coast. Ranvir Shorey, who had also gone through something similar, was carrying one of those pills. He gave one to me and said, ‘Keep this — it’s SOS. In case you feel it’s not working, take this.’ He was a lot of help. Because when you talk to other people, you feel so much better.”

Emphasizing the importance of opening up about mental health, Sudhanshu concluded, “Talking is very important. Speaking out about it is very important. When you’re going through something, you must talk because that really makes a lot of difference.”