Dowry And The Collapse Of The Moral Imagination Of The People

Long before dowry deaths became part of the national vocabulary, V Shantaram had already recognised the moral urgency of the issue, giving it a haunting celluloid expression in Dahej (1950). Set in Lucknow, the film revolves around a young bride who is humiliated and harassed by her in-laws for not bringing enough dowry. In a tragic twist near the end, the bride, mentally tortured by her mother-in-law and trapped in an emotional dead end, dies.

In 2026, we can still speak of the relevance of this movie because the death of a bride remains a powerful metaphor for a nation’s catharsis. Death magnifies the perceived seriousness of a crime.

The persistence of dowry-related harassment

Whenever we hear or read about the tragic death of a young woman driven to suicide due to dowry-related harassment, we suddenly awaken to a moral conscience, engaging in anguished reflections on how a woman’s life in India has been cheapened by a corrosive custom fuelled by greed.

Ranjana Kumari, author of Brides are not for Burning, once said in an interview that demands for dowry or ‘gifts’ from the bride’s family are rarely one-time. She also said that women are hardly given the courage or sanction by their own families to walk out of the marriage. This, according to her, leads to further harassment.

No wonder, even educated and independent-minded women continue to be consumed by the flames of dowry. Thirty-three-year-old Twisha Sharma from Bhopal had been married for barely five months. Her multiple achievements on the professional front could not guarantee her safety within marriage. Often, it takes the death of a married daughter to awaken a sense of guilt and helplessness in her parents. In Twisha’s case, however, she had raised the alarm long before her death. Five days earlier, she had asked her mother to take her home, saying that she was facing mental harassment at the hands of her husband and his family. But instead of acting swiftly and listening to her distress, her parents procrastinated.

Marriage is not a transaction

Sudha Ramalingam, human rights activist and practising advocate in the Madras High Court, once said that there was no guarantee that lavish weddings and expensive gifts would bring respect to the bride and her family. “You cannot buy a good marriage. No show of wealth, gifts of dowry will ensure that your daughter will have peace and affection in her marital home,” she had observed.

According to a survey, 16 women are killed every day in India over dowry-related disputes. Even today, the 1961 anti-dowry law resembles a toothless tiger—formidable on paper but feeble in enforcement. As high-profile cases fade after dominating the news cycle for a few weeks, another similar tragedy unfolds elsewhere in the country, reigniting conversations about the causes behind these deaths and the dehumanising practice of dowry.

Educating women and families

We may ask why these educated women did not walk out of toxic and transactional marriages that endangered their lives and instead waited patiently, with a Micawberish optimism, for things to improve. Yet, such arguments often ignore the larger social reality in which many women, from their teenage years, are conditioned to believe that their future lies in their husband’s home; that making a few “adjustments” here and there will not compromise their dignity or self-respect. Over time, however, these so-called minor adjustments can turn fatal, as the in-laws, emboldened by such pliancy, continue demanding cash and gold to improve their financial status. Perhaps dowry has simply found a new euphemism: ‘gifts’ and ‘shagun’.

The Sisyphean burden of keeping the marriage afloat almost always falls upon the woman’s shoulders. How about teaching our educated daughters not to take marriage for granted; that, if required, they must push back against intimidation, commodification, and emotional blackmail; and that marriage is not the be-all and end-all of a woman’s life? They should exercise their own judgement in deciding whether to remain in a marriage or walk away from it, secure in the knowledge that they can always return to their parental home, regardless of how society reacts.

Role of parents and society

It has often been seen that the parents of a bride, fearing the loss of a suitable groom, helplessly kowtow to the dictates of his family by agreeing to dowry demands. This must stop. The parents of a prospective bride must have the courage to call off a marriage the moment the groom’s family begins to take the upper hand in such matters.

The electronic media should regularly organise debates around dowry, and not only when any ghastly dowry death captures the national imagination. Colleges across the country should spread awareness about the social evils of dowry. Parents, too, should sensitise their sons to the idea that marriage is a bond of companionship, not a transaction driven by greed. Women parliamentarians need to be more vocal against the inhumane custom of dowry.

The writer is a Delhi-based journalist.

Published on: Friday, June 05, 2026, 08:55 PM IST