Red Flag Or Emotional Burnout: Modern Guide To Understanding Relationships Better

Red flags don't always come with sirens or charging at you like a bull; they also come disguised as vague texts, compliments followed by silence, and immaturity. "I don't think he's toxic; he's just confusing" has become the new brand of red flags. This isn't your plain and simple red flag; it's rebranded. But is rebranding all bad?

Ghosting, or immature?

There was a time when ghosting was seen as the ultimate sin in dating. But in several recent surveys, several successful couples admitted to being 'the ghost' at some point in their lives. So, if they were so full of malice, how did they end up finding true love? The reality is more than black and white. The silence, the leaving in seen, the running away without any explanation, all still seen as utterly disrespectful, but modern data shows a softer truth from the ghoster's side. Some, not all, aren't as heartless as we thought. Granted, it is not an excuse for such juvenile behavior, but, in all honesty, some people just aren't mature enough; they don't know how to express their disinterest without hurting their match's feelings. It's not always malice; sometimes it's simple immaturity. A study shows that most people who ghosted someone, later felt ashamed and embarrassed by the way they handled things.

Breadcrumbing or connecting slowly?

The pattern where they send you memes, react to your stories, and compliment your looks once a week, and then act like they are not so close to you the next day, that's breadcrumbing. Leaving crumbs for you to pick, but never the entire bread. You are neither in nor out. But some people live in a constant state of delulu, and these people are rebranding a manipulative technique as soft connecting.

Yes, sometimes breadcrumbing is not malicious. Some people aren't sure about their feelings, and giving crumbs is them testing the murky waters. But instead of having an open conversation about how they feel, they keep the spark alive just enough to keep you on the hook; is that fair? The only correct answer is NO. Though breadcrumbing is often a product of indecisiveness, there is always a hint of unintended manipulation, and no matter how it gets rebranded, this trend, under any condition, should not be accepted as a form of connecting.

Mixed signals

One second, they are planning a future with you, and the next, they are acting like strangers. Ask them about their behavior, and the answer is always, "You are reading too much into it." But here's the reality: you are not reading too much into it; they are confused. Mixed signals used to be a plain old red flag, but now, people are looking into it more closely, and it seems that it's more than just a toxic trait. Everyone is managing their mental health, social pressure, fatigue from not finding 'the one,' and so much more besides dating. At times, it can get messy. Hence, the confusion and mixed signals. Is it fair that you become the collateral of this? No. But can we be a little kinder and rebrand this trait as someone still trying to figure themself out? Yes.

Pocketing or maintaining privacy?

You have introduced them to your friends, posted pictures, and tagged them in your stories, but you are still MIA from their social life. It definitely seems shady. But there's another way of looking at it: in this hyperactive world where everyone is craving instant gratification, and people obsessed with soft-launching and social media updates, some intentionally delay making their relationship public to avoid unwarranted scrutiny. They believe love grows better when there aren't too many prying eyes. In a survey, over 40% participants revealed they don't make their connection public until they feel emotionally safe and ready to face any judgment or comments. So, it's not always pocketing. Some are just keeping you private, not a secret. But there's a better way to handle this: it's openly expressing their intent to avoid any misunderstanding.

Upside of red flag

People are being positive and trying to be kinder in the face of toxicity. Daters today are more emotionally literate, and they know everything is not as it seems. What first appears as a red flag can easily be emotional burnout. Rebranding red flags and trying to understand the source of it gives people a second chance to be better and do better. Red flags will not magically disappear just because they are being rebranded, but at least, now there's more focus on the context, communication, and empathy around the subject.

(Ravi Mittal, Founder & CEO of QuackQuack)

Published on: Sunday, September 14, 2025, 12:00 AM IST