Agony Aunt: My wife got promoted to the post I have been trying since so long, I’m jealous

Debt causing distress

I am 62-years-old. I have been working with my boss since 15 years and played a vital role in making the company the top most company in India. We have good family relations with the boss, but his wife and kids treat me like an ordinary employee. I am financially not settled, when my wife was hospitalised, my boss had given me 15 lakh for her operation and now after six months also I am unable to arrange money from anywhere. I have a really high self-respect which is hurt, my health is getting affected due to immense stress and I don’t sleep at night well. The atmosphere at home also remains stressed because of this. I don’t know what to do? I feel helpless.

The fact that your self esteem is at stake here which is in turn causing a stressful environment for you at home and at work, probably requires some working upon. The financial burden is huge and is thus causing immense pressure to get it off your head as soon as possible so that your personal equation with the boss isn’t affected any further. Remember, you made certain decisions in time of need despite your core nature and the resulting stress is the outcome of the same. Laying down a plan with your boss about the repayment of the loan would be something that might take away some stress as you will be more prepared depending on your ability.

Husband-cum-colleague

I am 35-years-old and earn 40 thousand per month. I have been trying for promotions since two years but haven’t been promoted. I had taken house on loan and was facing money problems. I requested my wife to start working and help me financially. She got a job in my company and initially it was all pretty good as we travelled together, spent more time together and income increased. She is really efficient at work, gets praised by the boss. Now, she got promoted to the post I have been trying since so long and I’m jealous as my colleagues mock at me. We have a baby now and at times it’s really difficult to manage family with work as my wife has got more responsibilities. This situation makes me feel inferior, angry, impulsive, jealous, and insecure and is affecting my marriage as well. I know may be I’m wrong but I can’t control my anger. What to do?

There is some level of acceptance that what you are feeling towards your wife could probably be a result of your insecurity and disappointment of not getting the desired promotion. There is also a hint of not wanting to experience such emotions as they are affecting your marriage essentially. In order to overcome the range of negative emotions, you could seek some professional help along with your wife as she is also an essential part of the equation. Together, you can lay down the existing issues and be honest with each other so that any misunderstanding or the deep seated anger could be resolved.

Agony Aunt: My wife got promoted to the post I have been trying since so long, I’m jealous

Media and melancholy

I am a journalist. I had topped my college and got a good job and I am paid well. My life is pretty much happening but I still don’t get satisfied. I love challenges and I really wish to portray the real India to the public than make news on Bollywood controversy’s which are pointless most of the time. I want to talk about women empowerment, highlight poverty etc. but my boss doesn’t let me do it knowing my story and information is really important. He is too worried about the TRP than the content. Because I am not able to do my job well, I am somewhere feeling stressed and I am not happy from within. Also, the entire idea behind getting into news and letting people know the actual problems is not fulfilled leading to frustration and anger at work and home. How should I convince my boss and solve this issue?

The core displeasure here seems to stem from your inability to work in area of your choice and being forced to dish out productivity based only on your merit. Finding out options in workplaces that could give you opportunities to work in the area of your interest could be an option rather than wishing to bring about a change or convincing your boss for the same since you have already exhausted that option. If you still wish to continue on the same workplace, picking up a story you would like to work on and working independently on it and then presenting the same to your boss so that s/he is aware of your seriousness as well could be opted as well.

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