Hotheaded human
I become angry very fast and find myself unable to control my aggression. Usually, I would put the situation out of my mind and that would help; but of late, that method does not seem to decrease my anger. I tend to lash out at the people who were not the cause of my anger. Sometimes, if I have had a fight with my mother, I would also end up yelling at my friends without a reason. I do not know how to control this aggression, what can I do?
There seems to be a combination of aggression and a defense mechanism called displacement playing a role in your case. Often, with or without our awareness, we end up displacing our anger on those who don’t deserve it, inadvertently moving our focus away from the source of anger.
An in-depth understanding is necessary to know the source of the said aggression. Anger management has proven to be an effective way to overcome aggression and channelize it productively.
Several resources are available that may provide anger management techniques. Alternatively, you may seek professional help to help you with the same.
Exam anxiety
I have always been a good student and worked towards achieving good grades. Earlier, I would not get very anxious about my exams or results and could perform well. Now I am in college and suddenly I feel increased anxiety about exams. I can barely breathe and it takes me a while to bring myself to feel better. Last week, we got our terminal exam results for which I had studied hard. I feel that I base my entire self worth on academic achievement, I want to change this but do not know how to. What do I do?
I understand that with change in academic expectations, there takes place a change in our thought process as well. For you, the change has taken place in the way you view yourself which could contribute to the anxiety. In order to feel differently, begin by working on your anxiety. Understanding what aspect about the exams makes you feel anxious and is there a legit reason to feel so might help alleviate your anxiety. Then you can proceed with evaluating the other aspects that make up your self worth so that the notion that an academic achievement ‘is everything’ can weaken.
Toxic love
I am in a toxic relationship with a person that I love. We both love each other deeply but cannot seem to make the relationship work; we constantly fight and end up hurting each other. I do not have many friends and have only relied on her for emotional support for over 3 years. Every time I think of leaving the relationship, I realize I do not have anyone else. I fear that I may become lonely if I leave her. What can I do to help myself?
It is essential to first acknowledge and address the emotional dependency that has developed during the course of this relationship. Identifying the areas in which this dependency has been created will help you to work on those areas of your life.
Getting a true understanding of how your relationship turned out to be toxic can help to develop ways to mend the situation. This will further help to also realize that the relationship actually has any future.
Any decisions that you might make with respect to our relationship, taking into consideration your dependency and the fear of being lonely, could be detrimental. Once you start considering the relationship and yourself to be independent of each other, things may appear to be less daunting.
Emotionally empty
I have been feeling very empty in my life since a while now. I feel like I have lost my emotional sensitivity. In the past, I have been in relationships where I was hurt quite a lot and since then I feel like I closed myself off, now I find it hard to express myself emotionally. I do not feel empathy, happiness and even sadness the way I used to. It’s like I’ve become emotionally numb. Is this normal? What can I do about this?
I understand that you have been hurt quite badly in the past. This pain is currently ruling your emotionality which could be overpowering your ability to experience emotions in a healthy manner.
At times, certain negative experiences from your past might result in certain kind of trauma that might make it difficult to move ahead. Seeking professional help could prove beneficial as you can work with the therapist on your impending issues and emotional numbness.
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