DR. ANJALI CHHABRIA ANSWERS PERSONAL QUERIES

Shattered I have been traumatised and shattered.

Its been 6 months that I have been with my partner. We wanted to take things slow and I was very happy with that mutual ag

reement.

Everything has been perfect and I thought of giving him a surprise visit on our 6th month anniversary and found him in bed with his best friend who is a guy. I did not know how to deal with this and ran out of there. I always knew that he has this best friend and they hang out a lot but never dreamt that they would have a physical relationship or that he could be gay. He has been trying to contact me and I have been avoiding but its affecting me, I have lost my sleep and keep crying, and I feel so cheated. What can I do? This incident has really shaken you up and it is regrettable that you had to encounter an incident like this.

You need to give yourself time to let this incident settle in your mind, accept that it happened – avoid questioning why? Your partner must be having reasons to do what he did. However, if your sleep and appetite is getting affected and you are crying a lot, you need to realise that whatever happened is not your fault. You had nothing to do with the fact that your partner hid such a big secret from you.

Depressed I am unsure of what is happening with me, off late I feel things are not the same, as they seem to be. I have started doubting people and think that they have some plan to hurt me.

I have always been an introvert and didnalt39t like being around too many people. My family thinks that I am withdrawn and aloof. This is true to an extent as the only person I use to confide in was my girlfriend who I was seeing for 2 years.

We broke up 8 months back and though I am just 23 years, after this my desire to go out to meet people has completely gone down. The whole day I am just in my room watching TV or listening to music. I feel uncomfortable even talking to my family and now, I donalt39t know whom to trust or not. My friends think that I should be consulting a psychologist but I donalt39t want any medication.

With what I can gather from your description above, it looks like the break up had a very big impact on you. I am sure its been difficult especially when she was the only one you were confiding in. This could be one reason for you to lose trust in people and she was the one who you trusted so much and now she was gone. But as you say if the suspiciousness is increasing and you even doubt family, then it needs immediate attention. Yes, consulting a psychologist is a good idea as your friends have suggested. Psychologists and counsellors do not prescribe medication so you need not fear that.

Dr. Anjali Chhabria MINDTEMPLE http:// anjalichhabria. com/

IT LOOKS LIKE THE BREAK UP HAD A VERY BIG IMPACT ON YOU… ITalt39S BEEN DIFFICULT ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU WERE CONFIDING IN. THIS COULD BE ONE REASON FOR YOU TO LOSE TRUST IN PEOPLE…

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