-- Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj ji
Since our childhood, we have been taught to be polite and be nice to others. In a way its important, because you get what you give, and if we want others to be nice to us, our behaviour towards them should be similar, isn’t it? But if our so-called nice behaviour is superficial, as a mask over not so nice feelings, then it will not win us any goodwill in return, because the law of karma operates even at the most subtle level, which says "as you sow, so shall you reap."
Hence, it is very important to have genuinely good feelings towards others because when our feelings are pure, good wishes and nice behaviour comes naturally. We don't have to tell ourselves to be nice to someone or, suppress or dismiss negative thoughts that arise on seeing someone. Because if the feelings are pure, such negativity would never arise from within us.
Most of us have a typical tendency to have pure feelings and love towards our near and dear ones. But what about those outside the circle of our family and friends? Mostly, our feelings towards them keep changing according to how we perceive them.
It's actually our perception that makes us react differently when the same mistake is made by a loved one and by someone else. To the one, we show sympathy and understanding, and to the other, we may show irritation and anger. But with a little positive effort, we can try to be nice even to those people who consistently do mistakes or irritate us. The easiest way to do this is to make a distinction between the sin and the sinner. But the mistake that we make is that instead of being merciful, we immediately judge the person by his mistake and condemn him in our mind.
Whereas, the right way is to keep in mind that the person is succumbing to some inner weakness or character flaw and mercifully help him/her overcome that flaw. Hence, if we make a habit to look at every person with mercy, not only will our feelings towards all would remain pure, but we would also be able to help weak souls, who are rejected by all, to overcome their weaknesses and transform their lives.