-- Swami Brahmavidananda
Welcome to what probably is one of the oldest games in the world! All of us have played it at some time or the other. It's very simple. We blame the world for what we are. We blame our parents for what we have become or not become. We blame our partners and children for our lack of success. We blame the government. We blame the environment. It is an old game and we learn it when we are pretty young.
Look at what happens in most homes. A toddler accidentally bangs against a table. Naturally, he is hurt and in pain. What do the parents do? They comfort and console the child. They also blame and slap the table or even stamp the ground. The child feels very good. What the parents have done seems to work.
But it has given a subtle, subliminal message that the world is to be blamed for what happens to us. As we grow up we blame the teachers for us not understanding our lessons. We blame the education system for not being effective. Here is a gentleman driving to work, waiting at the traffic signal junction. He is stuck and starts to daydream until he wakes up to the sound of blaring horns and abuses from the cars around. Upset and angry he reaches work. A colleague asks, 'What happened?’. “Those drivers bugged me.” He is not willing to take even the minimum responsibility and say, ‘I am bugged’.
It looks as though the whole world is responsible for what I am feeling. I have no responsibility towards it myself. It is true that there are people who are unpleasant to us. A 22-year-old working woman blames her parents because they prevented her from learning to swim. I asked, 'Why don’t you learn to swim now?’ She said, “Now it is too late”. The more we blame the more stuck we are. We have to learn to accept the responsibility for one’s life both external and internal, do what we can and stop the blame game, once and for all.