What is the use of blame? You blame someone and if that person is really a culprit, for the first time it will provoke him, but if you keep blaming him, he becomes numb to it; he doesn’t care. Suppose someone is a real thief, and you keep telling him, ‘You are a thief’, you are wasting your time blaming him, because every time you say it, it doesn’t matter to him. It doesn’t touch him at all. If he is not a culprit, if he is an honest person, really genuine and you blame him, it pierces his heart; it touches his soul, stirs his soul. If that person is a yogi, he will use it for his benefit.
Yogi means one who has some wisdom, he will say that people praise and they blame, but I have to keep my equanimity. So a yogi uses it as an exercise to maintain his equanimity and wishes only good to everyone. If the person is not that wise, if it pierces his heart and he feels the pain, it rebounds back to you. When you blame someone, just analyze what your purpose of blaming is. You want to correct the person, is that why you are blaming? Or are you blaming just because you want to vent out your emotions? What is your attitude? Why do you want to do it? Venting out your emotions or blaming someone only shows how immature you are, how much jealousy you have, how you have no control over your own mind.
So, blame does not lead you anywhere and does not give you any result. You can only correct someone with love, compassion and communication. Blame means no communication. In your home, someone is incorrigible and they irritate you. Your mother, your father, spouse, children or somebody irritates you, what do you do? You keep blaming them. Your blaming your mother in law is not going to give you anything positive in return. You may get a lot of problems.
Instead of blaming them, take this opportunity as an exercise for you to maintain your equanimity; your inner balance. If everything is okay, if everybody is praising you and you say that I am a very balanced person, it doesn’t mean much. It doesn’t make any sense. If a bunch of people or even one person is blaming you for what you have not done and you still keep your balance then that means you have achieved something, you have gotten somewhere, and you have risen to some level. You need such an opportunity.
If someone blames you or criticizes you or they praise you, you should treat them the same, you should not be worried about it. Stand up to criticism. And give constructive criticism with compassion. A criticism should go with compassion and care. This does not mean that you always say good things and nice things even when you feel nothing is okay. You put a smile on your face, but you feel very angry inside. This is not going to work. We should be genuine and honest. Suppressing anger inside a problem and at the same time, being a time bomb all the time or a timeless bomb is even more dangerous. So, we need a certain balance in life, certain wisdom. Silence and meditation will take you in that direction.