We can have peace only when we are at peace with ourselves. And being at peace within requires the quality of self acceptance, nay, self esteem. We can’t spend the best part of our life wishing to be someone else!
The man who is driving to work on a motorbike looks at the car which stops near him at a signal and sighs with envy; the family who has ordered a thaali meal at a restaurant looks at the smoking hot grill being served at the next table and wishes that they had also ordered something more exotic; a young college student looks at the blow-up of a film star and wishes that she could be so attractive and slim… the list is endless! We all wish to be anything but ourselves!
In this case, comparisons are really odious, indeed, poisonous. When you start comparing yourself with others unfavourably, there will be no end to your misery and desire! This one might be living in a bungalow, while you are in an apartment; that one might be vacationing abroad, while you only make it to your local hill station; the other one might be driving the latest SUV while your car is four years old; and yet another might have a son or daughter in the U.S. while your children are happily settled in their home town. All justifiable causes for your discontent and unhappiness…?
When you compare yourself with others, you will never have enough of anything! There is always bound to be someone way ahead of you in the rat race. And since you have chosen to join the rat race, you are permanently running behind, always losing the imaginary race that you will never win!
The Buddhists believe that comparison with others is a typical trap that makes us fall deeper and deeper into dukha, the sorrow of samsara.
If you really wish to make a new beginning, stop comparing yourself with others. Take charge of your life. Let go of old, ingrained perceptions; and most important of all, forget dwelling on the past which you can never change, and a future which is not in your hands.
Learn to live in the present! Make the best use of the here-and-the-now! You can’t see yourself through others. Celebrate the unique being that you are!
Dada J P Vaswani is a humanitarian, philosopher, educator, acclaimed writer, powerful orator, messiah of ahimsa, and non-sectarian spiritual leader
