While top management schools have their own recruitment policies, the big corporates, cannot afford to lag behind. V GANGADHAR investigates the job recruitment policies of the corporate giants which use ‘golden handshakes’ of various kinds to rope in members of VVIP families for high profile jobs.
The VVIP Recruitment Hall in ‘Yessir’ corporation is humming with activity. All the top dogs are present on the first day of the Recruitment Jamboree when sons, daughters and others connected with VVIP families turn up for job interviews. Also present is a sizable number of VIP personnel holding top jobs with VVIP connections whose needs had to be taken care of on short term and long term basis. They are now being briefed on mollycoddling the VVIP crows on various issues
Director ‘YESSIR’ Corporation: Well I need not tell you how important this is meeting is. We have a name for ourselves in our special recruitment drive from VVIPs, their families and the most exciting as well as the most likely to occupy major corporate jobs in the next five/ten years. This cream of talent will guide the fortunes of YESSIR for the next 20 years both in India and abroad. So both in current recruitment and poaching talent from our rivals we have to be exactly careful. Let us be briefed by our PR and Corporate Communication Cell (CCC) on the kind of talent available to us
CCC: Sir, the talent before us is amazing and versatile. We have the son of this senior minister. Just a BA pass class but he has a broad world view and wants to be our Global Ambassador. He says he can unite the world, wants to fly over it in that giant Air bus ten times and spot the best international pleasure spots, and the sexiest airhostesses on their flights.
Chief PR: The Current batches display versatility, Sir. One applicant from Botswana wants to join the best of international Business Schools, spend just five days in each one of them and then spend the next five years each in Hollywood and Bollywood. Says he has fallen in love with our own Priyanka Chopra and wants to do a PhD thesis on her.
CCC: There is a definite inclination towards glamour. But don’t worry, there is enough variety. Young men and women want to aspire higher. Many of them want to be Prime ministers, but with a difference. They do not want to brew and sell tea, but would like to own tea gardens.
Director: That is not bad!
Chief PR: Listen to this smart guy, sir. He wants YESSIR help to be our next Prime minister and can we help him in recruiting the following as cabinet ministers: Lalit Modi (Finance) Sakshi Mahraj (Religious Tolerance) Higher Education (Smriti Irani) Science & Technology (Pandit Upagraha Swami) Minister for Defamation Suits (Dr Subramaiam Swamy) Roving Minister Without Portfolio : Narendra Modi. Indo-Pak Cricket Relations (Uddhav Thackeray) Minister in charge of Throat Development and Vocal Chords: Arnab Goswami.
