A kaleidoscope of men, matters & moments that make the madness & magic of Mumbai
Will the real Modi stand-up?
It’s been four years since I had moved into my current colony known for its peaceful and friendly neighbourhood at Versova. Little did I expect that one day this peaceful atmosphere would turn into a verbal battle ground. Loud shouts of ‘Modi chor , Modi chor’ was enough to wake me up from my deep slumber. Just when I was about to pull open the curtains of bedroom window, I heard the Parsi aunty above my floor shout in support of Modi saying, “you bloody drunkard keep your mouth shut, Modi is honest to the core and done so much for the youngsters.”
“What the hell are you talking about his honesty, is he ever in India to do any good for the youngsters,” snapped back uncle Mosses. If that wasn’t enough, one of our colony security guard joined in with his expertise on the topic by saying that when a person suddenly tastes success and sits on the top he does nothing but gives false promises and mints money for self. Lots of morning tasks staring at me, I moved away from my bedroom window to get going with daily routine. After a while as I sat with a cup of tea, my mind went back to the trio’s topic of discussion which had got me off my bed. And one question remains unanswered even today…which Modi they were talking about? Lots to ponder amidst plenty of similarities!
Coconut and Pundit to inaugurate Nano science dept
In a marathon style, within ten working days outgoing University of Mumbai vice chancellor Dr Rajan Welukar inaugurated at least 24 buildings, machines and sports facilities in the university campus.
Last inauguration was of a tall, vibrant and modern building that houses National Center for Nano-science and Nano-technology (NANNUM) popularly known as Nano center. University officials claimed that this is first of kind facility and building in the country.
Nano technology machines need vibration proof environment. Even a smallest of small vibration of stamping or passing vehicle can affect the cemetery or measurement of the machines. Even some of its floors are dust proof as dust can also affect the measurement of nano articles.
One professor said that building is near-earthquake proof. It can sustain the vibration of movement of heavy vehicle in proximity or flying airbus over the building.
Inauguration of this building was last inauguration in the tenure of Dr Welukar as vice chancellor. Most of the professors had gathered for inauguration and formally bid adieu to outgoing vice chancellor. Everyone gathered including vice chancellor, however, the programme was not started. All were waiting for someone.
Organiser said that they are waiting a Pundit and a coconut to start pooja. All people burst into laughter as it was modern building for science department which is earthquake proof and still they are going for pooja.
It was taking long time. Some officials said that if vice chancellor wishes they inaugurate building without Pundit or coconut. Dr Welukar along with other science professors chose to wait for both.
Not all reporters are the same
On one fine morning, this journalist had gone to a civic hospital to cover a story, however, she didn’t know that the journey ahead was full of adventure and was not less than a roller-coaster ride. This reporter had to meet the hospital’s doctors in order to get information for her story. However, she was stopped by an officer saying that media people are not allowed to meet doctors and if urgent they need a written application for it from the concerned official of the hospital.
Following the conversation, she told the officer that she has got permission from the official but she doesn’t have a written consent for it. The reporter was trying hard to convince the officer but he was not ready to budge and in fact he was blaming the media people for opting wrong ways to meet the doctors. On this, the reporter lost her cool and said, “Sir, I do not agree with this, not all the media persons are similar and if you wish you are free to contact the official. I am not lying about this and I respect your rules and this is the reason why I am sitting here right in front of you.”
The officer was flabbergasted on the reporter’s reply and he didn’t say a word for couple of minutes. Eventually the officer said, “I apologise but we have come across many such situations wherein the reporters cheat to meet doctors and put the wrong quote. But you don’t seem that way and therefore I will take you to the doctors and you can ask your questions with a free heart.”
Tail Piece
Fracturing her nose, Basanti (Hema Malini) had to learn it the harder way that her Dhanno was better than Mercedes.
Contributed by Sumeet Naik, Vishnudas Chapke, Manasi Tahalani
Compiled by Iram Siddique
Metro ‘shower’
Mumbai’s local trains, considered the lifeline of the city, are often the butt of ridicule through-out the year, especially during the monsoon. However, this year, the newly-inaugurated swanky metro coaches took away the ‘lame light,’ so to speak. Central Railway coming to a standstill last Wednesday came as no surprise to commuters and journalists alike. However, what did take everyone by surprise was the water pouring down the AC of a plush metro coach. Within minutes of the incident, morphed pictures of people bathing in this metro shower began doing the rounds on social media. Beneath the photo, the tagline now read ‘Free Bath’, instead of ‘Free Ride’ for limited period.
The only authority willing to show some sympathy to Metro officials was, surprise, surprise, a railway official. A senior railway official observed, “It is very sad but a little comforting that such things can happen in the Metro, which has a budget of thousands of crores. We run trains with a budget of a few thousands of rupees as compared to them.” Having got that off his chest, he looked satisfied and a smile spread across his face, which seemed to suggest that at least the railways did not have water pouring from the ceilings of its local train coaches. By Iram Siddique
