My wife doesn’t socialise with my work colleagues
I want my wife to socialise with my work colleagues. My wife won’t come to corporate events with me and I fear this may damage my career as I am on a top position in my company. Recently, she turned down a very important party with clients at my boss’s house. She says she has more than enough to do with her own job and our two children, and doesn’t want to spend a precious evening with strangers. I understand, but my colleagues seem to think that either I am very possessive and don’t wish to introduce them to my wife or my marriage is in trouble – neither of which is true.
Dr. Anjali Chhabria: I understand that is important to you that your wife comes along with you for work related events. But I do not agree with your fear of turning up without her and that it could hurt your career. Not all companies expect employees with their wives at all events. Also your career must be solely based on your potential, loyalty and hard work. If your wife accompanies you on other social events with family and friends and prefers to skip on your work events it is not a something to be ashamed off. You must respect her space and also understand she may just be tired after a long day or work and managing the house and kids and may need some time off to relax.
Dilemma : Job or relationship
I am 24 years old. Two years ago I started as a management trainee at a well-known company, where I’ve been told I’m in the fast track. Recently, I was offered me my dream job – a year in their New York office. This is my ideal job, but it would mean leaving my boyfriend behind. We haven’t been together long, and I fear our relationship won’t survive the distance. He is a junior hospital doctor who works very long hours. He says I should go, but I’m not sure. Part of me wants to tell my boss the truth, but I fear it will make me look as if I’m not committed. But I am committed to my job; I just don’t see why I should have to choose between love and interesting work. Surely I should be able to have both.
Dr. Anjali Chhabria: You can’t always have everything. Most people, women in particular, spend their lives having to choose between job and family etc. Also your boyfriend has been supportive and told you to go rather than making you go through an emotional struggle and making it even more hard for you. If he is not confident about your relation why should you fear? Do you doubt yourself? Also you must consider that getting such a great opportunity so early in your career is not easy. If you and you partner truly love each other you both will also be committed and respect each ones career. Please do not miss out on a good opportunity. You are young and need to kick-start your career. A year is also not such a long time. People go on for long distance relationships for years.
