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Sex and Relationships

Updated on: Thursday, December 09, 2021, 08:49 PM IST

Candid Corner: When dismissive reaction elicits excitement

Some might not care much about your messages while others might form negative opinions about many men in general
Photo: Pixabay

Photo: Pixabay

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I like to message random women on social media and get excited when they respond particularly if they are dismissive or annoyed by it. Is something wrong with me?

Let’s look at what is right first. You are out there reaching out to women and not hiding away from the world of desire and attraction. You are getting excited by a reaction instead of feeling guilty and gloomy from it. All this is right for you but not for all the women you message. Some might not care much about your messages while others might form negative opinions about many men in general. Should that affect you? Not necessarily, unless you are sending hurtful and vulgar messages. Could this be done better? Yes, with consent and role play. By asking first, you will get dismissed and told off by women who have agreed to play your rejection game. You might even manage to have a meaningful interaction with some of them, if you kindly request an annoyed response. Anyone would get curious if they were asked by a stranger to be dismissive. You might even land up a date with someone who enjoys being dismissive! Both outcomes serve your purpose: someone accepting your turn-on will give you rejection enthusiastically and those who find you weird will do it by criticising you. It’s a win-win situation achieved by asking for consent. The next level for you would be to meet in person. How does meeting a woman in person sound to you? How does being dismissed in real life and possibly slapped feel? If a face-to-face rejection seems even more exciting than an online one, start looking for a dominant partner. You could play out your entire fantasy with her calling you names and punishing you for being so annoying.

The writer is an Intimacy and Relationship Coach, Founder of The Intimacy Curator, an organisation promoting self-discovery through emotional and sexual well-being (www.theintimacycurator.com). (Have a query? Send it on fpjcandidcorner@gmail.com)

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Published on: Friday, December 10, 2021, 07:00 AM IST
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