Candid Corner: Neighbour sending mixed signals

My neighbour is a single mother and we are good friends. She is about 12 years older than me.Though she has never said this openly but I feel she may have a crush on me. She calls me to her place almost every other day and asks me to click her pictures when she wears sarees. I keep getting mixed signals but don't know how to be sure if it's really happening or it's just my imagination. How can Iknow for sure?

It sounds that you are attracted to this woman but are hesitant to make the first move. Is the age gap stopping you or the fear of rejection? To cut your mental chase you will have to address this with her directly. There is no escape. It is very scary to put desires out there not knowing what is going to happen.

Desires can result in rejection, but remember that rejections bring great breakthroughs about ourselves. Embrace them like you would a passionate lover. Maybe you will find out that when you are confronted with life situations you tend to focus on challenges instead of opportunities – age bias vs how much you can learn from someone older than you.

Have you shared how you feel with a friend or a professional? Sometimes, openly talking to someone will help you put the situation in perspective and clear your mind. What do you want from this relationship? What do you currently feel for her? After you are sure about what you want and feel, schedule a time and place to speak to her.

Start by telling her how you enjoy your time with her and ask how she feels about spending time with you. Tell her how you feel and ask her how your feelings make her feel. If you find out it was all in your imagination maybe you should get into fiction writing. If it’s a go ahead from her end, send me more questions on how to make this the most fulfilling relationship of your life!

(The writer is an Intimacy & Relationship Coach and an Independent People and Culture Specialist focusing on relationships, sexuality, youth and social media in South Asia. Have a query? Send it on fpjcandidcorner@gmail.com)

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