Q: I have an exhibitionist tendency which I haven’t revealed to anyone including my husband. I like to make decent men, men who are shy, uncomfortable by revealing my cleavage in a subtle manner. Watching them blush and squirm gives me a high. I’m not sure if I should continue with this kind of behaviour.
Ans: Rule of thumb is to ask for consent. There are plenty of decent, shy men who will agree to be flashed your cleavage upon request. They can also role-play the discomfort and blushing, as part of your exhibitionist turn-ons. There is nothing wrong with continuing with your behaviour, just remember to find people who consent to it.
Not many men will refuse this but some might. You have to respect that. You would get into serious trouble if you were a man exhibiting to women. Remember, that this behaviour would be a punishable offence if you were a man.
So don’t abuse this power dynamic just because you are a woman. You might want to speak to your husband about this as well if you are interested in building more intimacy in the relationship. Start with explaining to him that exhibiting yourself is something you fantasize about and check his reaction. Don’t go full in with a confession if you notice an adverse reaction. Even if his initial reaction is a little dull, start testing the waters at home by exposing it after a bath or while dressing up.
Sometimes we are socialised to say ‘no’ to certain fantasies but when we are actually faced with them we get aroused. Right now you don’t know whether he could be into your exhibitionism as well. In an ideal world, he could role-play the shy man who squirms at the sight of full you. That would really make things really steamy between you two. You never know, he could also be into exhibiting you to others.
The writer is an Intimacy and Relationship Coach, Founder of The Intimacy Curator, an organisation promoting self-discovery through emotional and sexual well-being (www.theintimacycurator.com). (Have a query? Send it on firstname.lastname@example.org)
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