Advertisement

Sex and Relationships

Updated on: Sunday, December 26, 2021, 01:27 PM IST

Candid Corner: Mr 'Long Lasting'

gilaxia

gilaxia

Advertisement

Q: I met an interesting guy but he claims he can last all night long. I really wanted to get intimate with him because there is attraction but after he told me this I have started backing off. I don’t feel comfortable anymore. Is there something wrong with me?

Ans: Men who last too long are annoying. Let’s bust this myth that one needs to last all night in bed to have an amazing experience, or to please a woman. It is not true. Contrary to porn and other common but strange beliefs, a woman does not need a marathon, nor a machine, to be sexually pleased. This guy is saying it to you probably because he doesn’t have much real experience with women.

Because if he had, he would know that most women don’t appreciate it. Not saying all, but most. It is unusual for a man to last that long and if he really is an all nighter, he could be desensitised. Now who would want to engage physically with someone who doesn’t feel anything? No fun in that. Reverse the role and think of a woman who has a very delayed arousal or none. His claims to extraordinary performance could also be an indicator that he has too much control over his sensations and arousal.

One might want to believe this is a good skill to have, but as we know, extremes of anything can be boring. When you are intimate with someone, the biggest turn on is the loss of control. Losing control, or seeing your partner lose control, is the most exciting and memorable experience.

This is what passion is all about. Why deny your partner that? Being physically intimate with someone is also about relaxing. Maybe this guy just needs to relax a little about his expectations of himself and focus more on asking you what you want.

The writer is an Intimacy and Relationship Coach, Founder of The Intimacy Curator, an organisation promoting self-discovery through emotional and sexual well-being (www.theintimacycurator.com). (Have a query? Send it on fpjcandidcorner@gmail.com)

(To receive our E-paper on whatsapp daily, please click here. We permit sharing of the paper's PDF on WhatsApp and other social media platforms.)

Advertisement
Published on: Sunday, December 26, 2021, 01:27 PM IST
Advertisement