Q: I went on a date with a girl for the first time and we really hit it off. I have been married and had a few relationships with men but this was completely different. We were just flying and it was very natural. I really don’t know where this is going but want to meet her again. I am afraid it might change my entire life. Please help.
Ans: Change is not only inevitable; change is the best thing that could happen to anyone. Any change whether positive or negative brings growth and evolution. Any change is an opportunity to introspect. And what better opportunity than being intimate with someone you really connect with. Intimacy, whether emotional or physical, allows us to be vulnerable not just with someone else but primarily with ourselves.
When we are vulnerable, we discover who we are at a deeper level. Lucky you! Dating a woman is definitely different but don’t underestimate how this person is much more than just being a woman. She is an individual with a unique set of personality traits and life experiences that attracts you, for some reason. Don’t reduce her to just her gender. She is who she is first and she also happens to be a woman.
Also, remember that flying on a first date doesn’t mean that you will fall in love or have a relationship. There could be neurobiological factors such as release certain hormones and trauma contributing to this strong attraction. Sparks are not always a sign that things will go well but if they have moved you, it means that something had been simmering within you already. Your subconscious mind sometimes signals that you have met someone who is going to make re-enact feelings that are familiar.
Familiarity usually goes back to your caretakers and the relationships with them. Take this as an experience to discover yourself and what this person is triggering or moving within you. Embrace change, it’s your opportunity to evolve.
The writer is an Intimacy & Relationship Coach, Founder of The Intimacy Curator, an organisation promoting self-discovery through emotional and sexual wellbeing (www.theintimacycurator.com). (Have a query? Send it on firstname.lastname@example.org)