You may not believe it, but a girl spiked my drink at her home, and took nude pictures of me and her while I was in a drugged stupor. I have never touched her in my conscious memory. She is now threatening me with rape charges if I don’t marry her. She has threatened to show the pictures to my wealthy parents to coerce them into accepting her as their daughter in law. I am in a state of shock. She was a girl who I met at a friend’s place and who insisted that I come to her home for just one drink. I don’t even know her well. I just don’t know what to do as I’m afraid no one will believe me if I share my situation. What should I do?
I believe it. This is referred to as a ‘shake down racket’. The girl has made her demands clear. In order to sidestep her ‘blackmailing’ you are going to have to enlist the help of a very good lawyer and also register a police complaint first. This strengthens the credibility of your story. In such situations, time is always of the essence.
Threats and coercion tactics using sexual leverage are punishable by law despite the zeitgeist and law tipping in favour of women who say they have been ‘sexually harassed or exploited’. Narratives can be spun in either directions and you need to be mindful of how you act and who you reach out to.
Clearly, you are going to have to involve your family – despite how awkward it may perhaps be for you to discuss this with them. You may also have to find a way to block her on social media so she has no way to virtually reach you. This isn’t a fool proof solution though. It’s quite clear that it’s money that she’s after so you may have to work in close tandem with a lawyer to collect proof of intent or evidence of her demands before you decide to involve and alert more people who can help.
Getting married to someone just to assuage a situation like this is risky – since the threats may NOT stop here. When you consent to spend a lifetime with someone, you’ll must be emotionally responsible and compatible with each other. Leverage, threats, shake downs and ransoms are not the way to build a happy and healthy relationship.
While feeling shocked and outraged is natural, the smart thing to do is to carry out a proper risk assessment first so that you can get the best help you need. Also, consider a visit to a good counsellor to work through any other emerging feelings.
(Dr Aman R Bhonsle is a qualified Psychosocial Analyst and a Professional Youth Mentor with specialisation in Transactional Analysis and REBT. He is available for consultation at the Heart To Heart Counselling Centre.)
