Tea & Therapy: Cheating Fiancée

Things moving too fast

I introduced my boyfriend to the family few weeks ago. They liked him a lot and since then have been constantly asking him to be a part of all the family events.

They see us as long term partners and eventually to get married. This is moving too fast for us as I am yet to meet his entire family. This scares as things seem to be more real now. How do I help reduce my fears?

‘Meet the parents’ phase could result in the thought process that you are going through as it does make things very real for the relationship. Your fear is definitely making this whole incident appear to be moving too fast.

You can speak to your parents about your apprehensions and convey to them that their initiatives are in fact a source of stress than comfort. This will help them retract in their efforts and it’s a win-win situation for all.

Cheating fiancée

I caught my fiancée cheating on me with one of her close friends. I was in denial for a while letting her explain herself to me, but later realised that she has been lying to me for a long time. I broke the engagement and have given the real reason to our families, however, kept it from our friends. I don’t know how to go about facing people as I feel embarrassed. What should I do?

I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Breaking of relationships under any circumstances does leave a mark. But I would like to highlight the fact that none of it was your fault. Confide in your close friends who understand you so that you also have an extended support system.

It may not be bad-mouthing your ex, but simply laying down the actual situation so that you also realise that people are responsible for their own actions. You have very little control over how others would perceive your broken engagement, thus speak to only those who matter.

Feeling lonely

After completing my undergraduate programme in hotel management I moved to a small town in Uttarakhand for my placement in a luxury resort. It was an amazing opportunity both location wise and money wise. But recently I have started to feel lonely as all my previous co-workers have left this place and new people have joined. I don’t want to quit, but also don’t want to feel lonely. What do I do?

Being away from home, we do try to find people who eventually become like family, it is natural human tendency. You also found few such people in the form of your colleagues.

I gather it must be taking a toll on your emotional well-being to find yourself amidst strangers and having to establish friendly relationships all over again. Your loneliness does require you to move out of your comfort zone and strike conversations with new employees.

You may initially end up comparing them to your old friends, but somewhere accepting the change which has taken place and making the most of the situation is important in order to sustain the workplace. This process will take time but it will be rewarding in the form of finding new people to bond with.

Guilty feeling

Travel industry has always fascinated me and thus after taking a course in travel and tourism I joined a travel company. I have helped this company a lot to be where it is today. And in return I have gained immense experience and learning.

After giving this a lot of thought, I wish to start my own set up, but somewhere feel like I am cheating on the company. I think I am ready to move in the industry independently and do well for myself. But somehow this feeling of guilt overpowers me each time I set out to speak to my superiors. How do I get over this feeling?

Working at a place and helping it grow might result into developing emotional attachments along with professional ones. Since there has been a mutual care-taking of each others needs in your case, it might be a tough call to make about quitting the company and starting out on your own.

It is a risk taking behaviour for sure as you are moving out to create a market for yourself in the same field. But, I believe you have given this entire plan a thorough thought and are, hence, deciding to venture out.

It is important to understand the origin of this guilt feeling as that could be a hindrance in starting your new set up. Once you are ready to let go of this guilt, you will be able to make necessary decisions by solely being a professional.

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