Agony Aunt

Updated on: Wednesday, December 09, 2020, 06:53 PM IST

Beat your Lockdown Blues: My mother is having an affair. Should I confront her or tell my father?

It’s strange how our lives have changed after being hit by the coronavirus pandemic. People are suffering from lockdown-induced paranoia, anxiety, stress and depression. Keeping our readers’ mental well-being in mind, we are introducing a special Q&A column, where renowned psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria offers solutions to problems related to the lockdown.

I recently discovered that my mother has been having an affair with a someone from our building. I was shocked as I didn’t see it happening in my family, because my parents share a good relationship. I saw few texts on her phone, which revealed she has been having an affair for the last few months. I am not sure what to do with this information as I can’t seem to decide whether to confront her or tell my father first? Please help!

Ans: The situation seems to be quite delicate here as well as traumatic to handle. I understand that you are confused as to who to go and speak to first. But first, gather your thoughts as you are still wrapping your head around this information. Then speak to your mother as she is the central piece here in the equation. Hear your mom on what she has to say about this situation and then respond accordingly so that it isn’t a reaction from the space of hurt. Post which comes the decision of how to break this news to your father.

I work as a dentist at a multi-specialty hospital. Last few months we have been home without much work due to COVID-19, and now we have resumed work again. The notion of meeting so many people everyday is little unnerving. I am not adjusting well to working again. Is there something I can do to make myself to calm down?

Ans: The eminent threat to your well-being is quite unnerving. In your line of work, it is mandatory to get close to the patient and do the treatment, which increases the risk of infection as well. For better adjustment at work in the given times and to approach each day calmly, focus on the safety protocols and measures as much as you can. You can only do so much with respect to creating a safe space around you. The control you can exercise over things that you can, could help you remain calm in the given situation, rather than focusing on things that may not be within your control.

I discovered during lockdown that I have Polycystic Ovarian Disorder (PCOD). My period cycles went for a toss at the start of the lockdown, and so I visited a doctor. The diagnosis has been playing on my mind. I am always unhappy and irritable. The doctor has put me on contraceptive pill for regulating the cycle. I think the medicine is making me feel depressed and, on most days, also snappy. I don’t want to feel this way as it affects each cycle. What I can do here to improve my condition and not end up in low phases?

Ans: PCOD is a lifestyle disorder and, thus, alongside medicine requires a regime to regulate the hormones. During the lockdown there has been a rise in unhealthy lifestyle, because we are constantly stressed. You could consult a nutritionist to help you with a diet plan that would work with PCOD, as well as pick some form of exercise to maintain weight and promote metabolism. Meditation has also proven to be effective in PCOD as it helps regulate your emotions. All these factors will help make the impact of the medication a little easier on you. Also, if the side-effects persist, do consult your doctor for an alternative medicine.

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Published on: Monday, November 30, 2020, 07:00 AM IST