I am from Kanpur and have been working in a bank in Mumbai for the last three years. Due to COVID I am stuck here during Diwali as I didn’t want to risk visiting my old parents back home. I am quite upset as there are few people I am close to and not being able to go home has made me realise that I am indeed very lonely in this huge city. All my colleagues have families here so they are busy. I feel too sad.
Ans: Often certain life circumstances make us realise that things in our lives have some flaws. In your case it was lockdown and not being able to go back home acting as a catalyst to feel lonely. Few things that can be done here are begin with reflection as to how to go about making more connections outside work so that you have a support system here in Mumbai as well. You made a practical choice staying back, however, you can still make few changes in the way you celebrate Diwali by using technology. It may not be the same, but in times like these we make the most of what we have.
My wife was detected with COVID last month. She has recovered and is back home. I see few changes in her though. She has become more vigilant and anxious. I tried talking to her and made her understand things are fine and that we all have tested positive for anti-bodies and she needs to slow down her worry. But it falls on deaf ears. What can I do to help her?
Ans: Your wife might have undergone emotional upheaval along with physical toll that COVID must have taken on her. She is still reeling in that emotional state. It would be good to consult a psychologist who can work with her on these fears systematically, as sometimes we as lay people might say something that affects her more. Few sessions would help her gain better control over her emotions and also look at things logically rather than functioning out of fear and anxiety. Also, while you communicate with her make sure you are avoiding language that sounds preachy.
I recently met someone on a matrimonial site and have been talking to the person for almost six weeks now. We are in the same city, but due to COVID and our hectic work life we are unable to meet. My parents know about us and are insisting that we meet. His parents live in another city and are also pressurising him to arrive at a decision. I am not sure what to do as we are fine with the way things are going. How to ask our parents to back off?
The pace at which both of you are moving, if it works out well then there needs to be a sincere effort to put this across to your parents respectively. You have entered this process with a thought of getting married to someone and if that process involves you exploring and taking time, it is only fair that you assertively stand by it. Have a conversation with your parents and explain how it is important for the two of you to spend time together and understand each other better so that it aides in making a decision of spending rest of your lives together easier.