Beat your Lockdown Blues: All your mental health queries answered by Dr Anjali Chhabria
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Last week we bought a new car after a lot of deliberation. This is my first car and I was nervous before spending so much money given the current circumstances. Now that we bought it, I am constantly fearful that something might go wrong. This has always happened after I have taken a big decision in life. I will think about how my decision is wrong and is going to backfire. What can I do?

Ans: The underlying problem here is about your decision-making skills and not entirely about buying the car. Decision-making can be quite daunting as a process as it involves thinking about both pros and cons. Few ways to make this easier for yourself are to begin with breaking down the situation into accessible parts so that making small decisions help build confidence. Next, you can seek guidance if need be when you feel stuck. Being careful of using ‘what ifs’ is also important as it can lead to unnecessary stress.

Hello, I am a civil engineer by profession, but by passion I am a writer. I have written few books with short stories and wish to publish them. But, fear cripples me each time I think about it. What if people don’t like them and what if I am doomed as a writer. My job isn’t satisfactory and I am losing interest day by day. This causes a lot of stress in my life and I hate being like this. Please help.

Ans: The struggle between what you love doing and what helps you earn money is serious when both the things are different. Your passion for writing and your current profession seem to be at loggerheads as they are quite different. Your career as a writer will need you to be dedicated to the art. With investment of time, energy and resources it will seem like a good idea to work in a company and get a regular pay check. Taking risks will involve some amount of uncertainty. Your passion can become your guiding force if you allow it to be. Setting realistic expectations from self can also help in reducing the stress levels.

I am a 65-year-old woman. I lost my husband four years ago due to cancer. His fight with cancer was quite brutal and it took a toll on me as well. During that time, I met another person at the hospital who was taking care of his wife. We became friends over common misery and stayed connected. His wife passed away three years ago and we were there to console each other. Recently, he expressed his liking towards me and suggest starting a life together. I am not sure what to do. Isn’t this too old to be getting into these things?

Ans: I would begin by stating that age limitations are a real thing only with respect to physical health. Starting something new usually requires an understanding of why and what the task is. You mentioned that both you and your friend have developed a close bond over the years. It might have started with common grounds of losing your significant other, but at the present moment he is expressing his desire to be with you. I would suggest you keep aside every other notion and look into your own feelings towards him. If you feel the same then take it further at your own pace and see how it goes. Often you might realise things that seem absurd just because of age factor can actually be life altering experiences. All the best!

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