Beat your Lockdown Blues: All your mental health queries answered by Dr Anjali Chhabria
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I broke up early this year after being in a relationship for two years. It was mutual so there wasn’t much of a remorse. I then went on to a dating app in April and found someone who was quite interesting. We started dating and it was going really well up until last month. He suddenly ghosted me and I am at loss. I have had miserable last few weeks. Please help.

Ans: The agony of being ghosted after you thought things were going well could result into a lot self-doubt. I would first highlight on this point that being ghosted by someone is a decision the other person makes which has very little to do with you as an individual. There could be a possibility that you might have misread the signs and thus believed that things were going well. Feeling hurt is a natural emotion, however, feeling awful because of this experience is something which won’t allow you to move past it. Thus, focus on engaging yourself with things that you like and speaking to those who can motivate you in order to overcome this situation.

My grandmother passed away two months ago due to COVID-19. She was quite healthy before the infection, but once she fell ill her body deteriorated rapidly. We tried everything to save her, but she wouldn’t respond. It has been tough on me as I was close to her and she practically raised me. I am unable to recover from this loss and end up crying everyday. How do I get out of this sadness?

Ans: I am very sorry for your loss. As you mentioned you were close to her, the absence that you experience is quite devastating. Grieving is a process and each of us experience it differently. You convey your grief through crying often in your grandmother’s memories. There is acceptance, but with a tinge of anger attached to it. I would recommend you see a therapist for a few sessions who can help you in understanding the bereavement process and wherever needed provide extra help in terms of support and awareness.

I have taken a Rs 15 lacs personal loan. I wanted to start a small business of my own and thus quit my job and invested money in the new venture of food delivery. My wife cooks well and both of us came up with this plan sometime last year. By December, we had secured the loan and January onwards we started the business. It went well until pandemic hit and in the last few months we have seen a lot of struggle. Now when we are restarting, I am thinking that this was a mistake and we shouldn’t have taken this up. I am very worried. How do I keep going?

Ans: It must have taken courage and determination to start a new business venture, so congratulations on that. A lot of businesses saw major upheaval in last few months and now with some sense of normalcy setting in, it's almost like starting afresh. I agree you are stressed about bank loan and business taking time to pick up, but amidst the pandemic even banks have approved of few relaxations so check with your respective bank about the same. Doubting this business after it not doing well as expected can be worked upon by having realistic expectations from self. Once you work out a plan that is achievable in near future then you can think of something bigger. Break down the problem and then attack it rather than letting it overwhelm you.

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