Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

Mischievous daughter

I am a 45-year-old mother of two daughters. My younger daughter who is 8 years old is very naughty. She keeps picking up fights with her classmates, is unable to concentrate in class and I keep getting complaints about her from school. I and my husband have tried to make her understand but nothing seems to make a difference. I am very stressed out as to how to handle her.

Ans: Your younger daughter, from what you mentioned, has few behavioural issues at school which require investigation from a professional. There could be various reasons as to why she is acting out in school or is unable to concentrate, however, a professional opinion from a child psychologist could help throw light on possible reasons and also help you formulate a therapy plan for her behaviour concerns. Many a time’s academics could be a triggering point for the kids her age which could result in a behavioural outburst.

In search of good friends

I am a 19-year-old architecture student studying in a metropolitan city. I am in my third semester and I am still unable to make friends. All the other students in my batch smoke up, drink or party till late to bond. I cannot do all this as it does not interest me. Although, I still want to have friends as I feel left out and alone. I miss my home but I cannot tell my parents about it as they will be worried. I am feeling depressed and I cry a lot. How do I help myself?

Ans: I can understand the pressure you might be experiencing while not being able to make friends of your liking and feeling left out. It is a general myth that revolves around the fact that one needs to succumb to the group norms and only then find themselves a place in the group. This is something that you might be experiencing as well. You could have a conversation with few friends from your class who may be into smoking and drinking and tell them as to how it makes you feel displaced so that together you all can derive at something which works in your favour as well.

Introvert daughter-in-law

I am a 26-year-old woman married for about a year. All my life I have been an introvert who does not like to socialise with people except for a very few relatives and close friends. My in-laws and my husband, on the other hand, are very social and love to keep meeting people and throwing parties. Initially, I tried getting used to it but I cannot manage. At the end of the day, I feel so exhausted that I end up picking a fight with my husband over petty issues. I know this is not healthy for our relationship. Please help!

Ans: The expectations are quite misplaced from both the ends which might be leading to fights over petty issues. Since you have identified the cause of the difference between your personality and the family’s approach towards socialisation, you could highlight this to your husband and together work on a middle ground here. You could choose to be a part of few social events which are comfortable for you and those which overwhelm you could be discussed with your family. Once your husband and family members are able to understand your concerns with social events, there would be lesser room for arguments.

Struggles of life

I am a 35-year-old single man and have a business of my own. I want to settle down and begin a family but nothing is working out for me. Off late, I am also unable to find any motivation to work and hence, I am losing on my clients. I keep feeling sad and deprived. All my friends are married and I feel a little awkward when we go out together. How do I overcome my lack of motivation and self-esteem?

Ans: You mentioned a couple of things that seem to overlap and cause a sense of unhappiness. The self-esteem issues might at times lead to inability to strive hard for what one wants in life assuming that one is not good enough or doesn’t deserve anything good in life. The despair sets in when there is no advancement in life. Working on developing a healthy self-esteem is something which shall help you develop confidence which in turn work in favour of your motivation to work as well.  Additionally, looking into the work aspect and if there is any monotony set in which might result in lack of motivation could also help.

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