Agony Aunt

Updated on: Thursday, May 30, 2019, 10:54 AM IST

Agony Aunt helps you to deal with problems at workplace


Clashing with colleague

I have always been competitive with my work friend ever since I started working at this office 6 years ago. Although we are friends, we have never worked on a project together due to our dominant personalities and need to be a leader. There is a new project in the company and according to rumours I was supposed to head that big and lucrative project. On the day of announcement, the project head announced him as the head. I felt very humiliated and now I am dreading to work with him. This whole situation is embarrassing me and I feel quite dejected that I did not get to be project head despite my best efforts. Please help as I do not know how I am going to get through this.

Ans: Like you rightly said it’s your personality, competitive and leadership type, however it is the situation that’s to be blamed and not yourself. You cannot take things personally or else it will be a hindering to your growth at work. If you think it from a third person’s view it could also be the effect of anticipation that led you on to think you are going to be the head, this made you hope and feel good about yourself and when things didn’t turn out that way so you are more hurt in disappointment, may be not so humiliated but rather upset and you may not be able to accept this. Have you thought this could be a game created by those who envy you at work or are those responsible who want to take advantage of your competitive interest as they might be sure that a situation like this will upset you. Don’t allow an external source to bring you down, a good sportsmen knows how to lose too, and will accept the given situation gracefully with an attitude of gratitude. A try leader would not throw tantrums or react overtly when something does not go his way; a true leader is also someone who can be a good follower himself. Fulfil your role given to you currently, calm yourself down and focus on self improvement instead of competing with others, this will allow you to respect your potentials and reach your goals in you capacity instead of relying on others. Prove it to yourself that in a difficult situation you do not chicken out and work hard for the next.

Also Read : Agony Aunt helps you to deal with the problems in professional life


Managing Girl Gang

I am a project manager. My team (who are my subordinates) consists of 6 young girls. They are efficient in their work and I’m happy with the way they work. However, since past few days, one thing has been bothering me. The girls get a one-hour lunch break from 1 pm to 2 pm officially. But, I do not approve/like it if they utilise and waste one full hour of the break. I’ve told them a couple of times in the recent past to eat their lunch and resume work thereafter. But they somehow manage to take one full hour to eat, and then chit-chat till 2 pm. How do I make myself more clear and make them understand better?
Ans: You are the leader and that defines that you take the necessary lead. It is fair enough that they want some break from the routine and if they are getting their work done there shouldn’t be much problem, however you need to decide what is the purpose behind your expectations that the girls should be done with their lunch quicker, and that they should not take an hour. If the work is suffering then you can bring to their notice and make that clear to them so they can bring the necessary changes in order for the work to be completed. If that’s not the case and you just want to discipline them then that is what you can explain to them, since there certain rules to be followed you expect them to be done. However you too think about how important it is for them to not take that one hour break, how is it affecting your work, if there isn’t much problem you can create a win-win situation with them and adjust to the whole situation in a way that even if they take an hours break the work should not hamper and that they should be responsible with their work ethics otherwise, this way you’ll both as a team attain to the requirements.

Read More : Agony Aunt on how to deal with Professional life problems


Strangled in small organisation

I work as a manager in a small establishment. This establishment has employed a lot of workers, more than its capacity. Due to this, there is a constant battle for work. People break out into fights and they are constantly trying to make each other look incapable so that they can get the work for themselves, as there is an on going battle for securing their own jobs. I don’t know how to deal with this situation or I at times wonder whether I should even work here. I have considered leaving this place but the market is quite bad and I am not sure I will find anything good.

Ans: as a manger you  role to create a good balance between pleasing the company heads as well as the employees, as this right kind of stride could fetch you all the appropriate result that a good manager is in hunt for. Try to think of the ways in which you can convince the company heads to either increase the work loads in order to equally distribute the work, and this will help the company’s performance too. However in some situations this can get difficult, because if the company is not ready to stretch her arms for work they may not take such step now. In that case probably then you can opt for giving group work instead of individual task, that means that the work goals are suppose to be achieved as a team and in this way they are not insecure as an individual, they have to reach to the goals as a group and that can make things more organised as well. Take the HR departments help to chalk this plan out and check if it is possible to implement the whole thing. You can simultaneously apply else where and check if you are getting a chance to work else where, if you get a better opportunity you can always think of quitting and move on.


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Published on: Sunday, December 04, 2016, 12:10 AM IST