BMC’s recent crackdown to curb open defecation is indeed a boon in disguise for people with ‘Piku’ syndrome , writes SUMEET NAIK.
As early as 6 am in the morning, my door-bell rang. Well aware that neither the milk man nor the newspaper boy comes that early, I was anxious to find out who the sleep intruder was. To my surprise, it was my next door neighbor, Mr. Vaswani, jumping all around shouting, “Yes! Mr. Naik. I got it. I got it.” He reminded me of Archimedes shouting from his bath-tub, “Eureka-Eureka.” The only thing that was missing here was the bath tub.
“I have discovered the solution for your year-old problem, Mr. Naik,” said an overjoyed Vaswani. That very moment I realised which problem he was referring to and before I could utter another word, he said with a sense of pride, “No more constipation, it’s time you set it free”. It was Vaswani who had been trying his level best by getting all sorts of powders and pills to help me get rid of this ‘early morning traffic jam’. So much so that he had made me watch Big ‘B’ starrer Piku so many times that if there was a National Award for watching one single movie many times a year, I would have won it hands down.
Curious to know what remedy this time Vaswani had stumbled upon, I asked him about his new find. “You won’t believe Mr. Naik how simple it was to get rid of this problem. We simply wasted so much of money until the Municipal Corporation (BMC) gave us the solution,” said Vaswani. How could BMC solve my constipation problem? I wondered.
Sensing that I had not understood what he meant to say, my over enthusiastic next-door neighbour got into explanatory mode. “See Mr. Naik, I’m sure as a journalist you are aware that the civic body, in order to curb open defecation, has begun shaming the offenders by punishing them in public. Those caught are made to do sit-ups,” said Vaswani in his usual animated fashion.
“So how does it lead to solving my constipation problem?”I asked, still clueless about the link between the two.
“You see, today when I got up, I realised that I was having the same problem that you battled bravely for so long. Then I just imagined myself defecating out in the open and getting caught by the civic body. Now, I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to do sit-ups or no. So I actually practiced doing sit ups and guess what? The troublesome blockade was cleared in no time,” said Vaswani.
“You mean sit-ups will help me get rid of constipation?,” I asked with disbelief. But another part of me racked me up saying that there is no harm if I do sit ups. If it works, I get rid of this perennial problem. If not, it is a great exercise anyway to keep me in shape.
As I thanked Mr. Vaswani for showing great concern towards my bowel woes, with a promise that sit-ups is next on my agenda, I could not help but think what would happen to the symbolic empty paint dabbas popularly used as water carriers since ages to answer nature’s call (wide in the open), often arranged in a queue on the railway tracks or kept outside the shut door of a public toilet to demarcate who is next. Whether I must applaud the BMC for this step or sham the move, only my sit-ups will tell!
