Whether one has enough or little, happiness and contentment don’t come from money alone but from realistic goals, optimism and setting right boundaries. Life cannot be perfect and it need not be perfect to be wonderful, writes A. L. I. CHOUGULE
If life is a journey, it is a long, tiresome and arduous journey. No human life is without its share of ups and downs – disappointment, disenchantment, optimism, celebration, love, hatred, regret, repentance, delight, excitement, success and failure. No human can be completely happy or perennially unhappy. While poverty is a curse for those who barely manage to have two meals a day, it is also true that many people who have enough are less happy and dissatisfied with their state of existence, success and achievement.
There is no formula to measure success; it is relative to one’s expectations, education, circumstances and advantages/disadvantages one has grown under. Life is a big success for someone who emerges winner from failure, disappointment and adversity. It cannot be the case with a person who faces least setbacks and yet does not achieve much.
Many are born poor, some barely manager to meet ends; some live comfortably while some are born and live rich by virtue of inheritance. Obviously in each case the journey of life is different. In most cases it is difficult and not-so-pleasant, for many it is financially comfortable but too competitive, while in some cases it is luxurious and less challenging. But each journey throws its own hurdles and challenges. Some people have a lot that others yearn for and yet feel dissatisfied. Many don’t have enough but feel contented because they are in harmony with their limitations.
Once, a businessman on his morning walk saw a fisherman sitting with a bagful of catch and enjoying tea. Aghast the
businessman asked the fisherman to venture into the sea again and catch some more fish so that he could make more money. The fisherman asked why. The businessman replied that if he makes more money he would be able to buy a trawler, employ people and make lot of money. What will happen then, asked the fisherman. When you do well, you will live a better life, replied the businessman. The fisherman then said that he enjoys life in his own way and has no issues with whatever he has in life. Moral of this apocryphal tale is some people are happy with their limited means, while some aren’t satisfied with millions in their bank account.
Money does not ensure happiness though lack of it makes one unhappy and discontented. But what about people who have enough but feel deprived of contentment? It’s been seen that the have-nots and deprived are easily drawn to rituals and religion, while the well-off are less religious. Religious places can be seen at every street corner in areas inhabited by poor folks. Turning to God is a way of seeking solace for them, while the well-off seek contentment in material comfort.
Whether one has enough or little, happiness and contentment come from realistic goal, optimism and setting right boundaries; feeling sorry and helpless doesn’t help. One major problem with most human beings is that we seek a comfort zone and routine pattern in everything. Any change in routine becomes discomforting. But life is not a stagnant pool; it is like a river, flowing steadily. However, most of us prefer the pool over river and prefer stagnating. Stagnation is slow death. Since we all despise change and want a state of permanency and no end to pleasures of life, we end up feeling frustrated and discontented.
As J Krishnamurti, sage, philosopher and thinker observed, “We (human beings) dig a little hole and barricade ourselves in it with our families, with our ambitions, our cultures, our fears, our gods, our various forms of worship, and there we die, letting life go by – that life which is impermanent, constantly changing, which is so swift, which has such enormous depths, such extraordinary vitality and beauty.”
Life cannot be perfect all the time and it need not be perfect for it to be wonderful. Hence the best way to deal with problems and challenges is to stay focused, be positive and optimistic. It is easily said than done as mental strength takes long time to develop. But, according to psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of ‘13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do’, if we balance our emotions with logic, avoid unproductive activities, adapt to change, face fears confidently, try to improve, accept our mistakes and learn from them, live according to our values, learn to bounce back from failures, work on our weaknesses and deal with problems as opportunities for growth, life can be an enjoyable journey.
But remember life is a marathon, not a sprint. Life will be unexciting without problems, disappointments and challenges. It will be monotonous without change and it will be dreary without self-improvement and growth. To be happy and satisfied one has to love oneself first. No one can make you happy if you choose to be unhappy.
