With World Menstrual Hygiene Day approaching, STUTI KUTE sets out to discover if attitudes have changed
Hindsight and imagination, together make a notorious duo to cook up a scandal. I remember distinctly, when I was around ten or so, clutching an apparently scandalous note scribbled by my aunt, my cousin and I stealthily skulking across the street, no words going back and forth with the pharmacist, money exchanged under the table, a package wrapped in newspaper we quietly received and brought back in absolute secrecy, never speaking of it again. Indeed, we were shopping for menstrual pads.
We are celebrating World Menstrual Hygiene Day on May 28, a celebration of breaking the silence, raising awareness and changing the negative social norm around the monthly cycle. Hence, in honour of it, it becomes a moral responsibility after all these years, for that little secret smuggler of feminine hygiene products, to ask questions. Are we really going forward in society around this topic? Are women more comfortable talking about it now than they were, say 20 years ago? Is the newer attention which Aunt Flo has received from the media, a poster for marketing? And this is how we commenced, taking the conversation around the city, in “Kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hai?” style.
Quite astonishing it seems, when a stranger approaches amidst the noisy music of the city and asks about periods. A pause, silence, throats cleared. Taken aback, many walk away, and to my dismay most of the walkers are middle aged ladies who find the topic unsuitable for conversation. Men seem more comfortable talking about it if they are chaperoned by a woman, otherwise the discomfort comes through quite transparent.
I find most women in disagreement with the archaic nature of the practises surrounding menstruation which dictate the treatment of women; not being allowed to enter the temple, the mosque, not being allowed to touch the Bible or watering the traditionally holy tulsi plant, or sometimes to the extreme, prohibition of entry of women in the kitchen or even touching utensils during that time of the month. Yet before a case against it is even proposed, they came to the rescue of it. Their pivotal argument, as the mothers must have explained when questioned, is that these traditions (considered degrading at times) can facilitate a time of rest and recovery for the woman, this being the original purpose of the ancestral setup. But aren’t we failing to address the misuse of tradition, and the exploitation of the traditional setup more so? When women, who themselves have gone through the explicit staging of their apparent impurity, the actors being their very own loved ones, why is it that they still feel the need to rise up and protect these traditions, and sometimes even perpetrate them? The lack of will to ask questions, even after where we seem to have reached today, somehow deludes these women to believe that society knows best for them.
In an interesting conversation, I find the very paradox set across the idea of menstruation as seen in Indian society. On one hand, the arrival of the first period (menarche) is celebrated as a sign of fertility, and on the flip side we find the same biological process denounced by religion and custom as impure, toxic even, enough to not trust women in their menstruating age to enter the Sabarimala temple (until a machine is invented to discern, that is). Then, is the blossoming of a girl into Red to be seen as only the mark of her eligibility for the marriage market? Is that, indeed, what is celebrated? But somewhere in all of these conversations, few enlightening, some disheartening, I find a strong undercurrent of a rising awakening; to talk about it, to share it, to raise the voice against those who wish to silence. Especially in young girls, and even boys, a rising sensibility to what once was a topic closed away from any male eavesdropper or hushed even among the women. And this, right there, is cause to celebrate.
With the emerging of cinema as one of the newer mediums of social awareness, the campaigns and the marketing surrounding it seems to have opened a platform for conversation, when earlier there was none. When asked about whether these movies, documentaries, etc, really are changing the fibre of society, many feel that yes, they are, but the real change is yet to come, especially among the lower strata of society. Global connectivity, especially among the youth, has swayed the tide towards liberalism, but those not connected still live in the trenches of misogynist traditions.
A little revolution, in the quiet and privacy of one’s mind however, seems on the way. Things around the conversations related to that time of the month are changing. One of the most intriguing arguments, spitfire passion from a lady with metallic green nails, is that if the Creator is everywhere and one with us, in the very molecules of the air we breathe, then what use is the case against the impurity of a menstruating woman; if she can touch the air, surely she can, an idol, the Bible, the Quran and cross the threshold of any place deemed holy (strictly paraphrasing).
And still again, we feel those invisible warriors fighting for cutting taxes on menstrual hygiene products, to make it organic and environment friendly with a promise to recycle and reuse, campaigning and drudging their way through a world which sometimes refuses to stop and listen. Change is due, but we await an answer.
The light smiles of the young women and at times, boys, is embossed in my memory, as they go on to strengthen my conviction that yes, things will change for the better. But what has the city to say to this? In its deafening silence and grandeur of little things, it promises that soon, the tides of change draw near. But still, a very long way to go. Will the Red blossom in freedom, in equality, in beauty, as it deserves?
Hope is a thing with feathers.
