‘We love each other to bits but…’

‘We love each other to bits but…’

FPJ BureauUpdated: Saturday, June 01, 2019, 10:27 AM IST
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Soha Ali Khan’s quaint taste in cinema reflects her vision for herself. But if you want to know the person behind the actor, it is best to ask her to share her thoughts about her nearest and dearest, says Shubarna Mukerji Shu.

For a very long time I told myself that I would be anything but an actress, it was perhaps the rebel in me who didn’t want to conform to something that was already a part of my legacy. So I did everything under the sun to avoid my – which now could be called – fate. Ironically, though, it was when I became an actress that I really grew close to understanding my parents and perhaps even myself better.

Today, when I am shouldering a film like ‘Chaarfutiya Chhokre’, I know I have come a long way. I have never actually done a film which actually has me in virtually every frame. But then I turn around and see my mother’s body of work and I know I have a long way to go. Of course there is a lot to learn from her, even today the way she carries herself…It is only because of my profession that you see me with mascara today!

Leaving my tardiness aside and getting back to my mother, what she did back then was tough for an actress to even do today. Getting married, having a child and then coming back to act – not many have accomplished that. To get married at the peak of her career, go and live elsewhere… it could not have been an easy decision and yet she managed it beautifully.

I do believe it had a lot to do with the kind of person she married. My father was extremely liberal in his thinking. The question of ‘allowing’ her to work didn’t arise. Women, like everyone else, were always just individuals who had every right to make their own choices. My clearest memories of my father would be of that strong sense of pride he left me with always. I always felt my father was the coolest person. He really was… nothing really frazzled him.

I remember, when we had debates at school, Amma and I would sit for hours discussing the subject at hand, and when I turned to my father he would just say a few words and that would completely sum up the debate. He was like that – a man of few words… Life had not been easy for him. Letting go off his palatial house to move into – although a big house but nothing that could be compared to what he was used to…to leading the English (cricket) team… losing his eye… there were loads of trials he had to go through but he always took it in his stride. But for me it is more admirable a trait because he appeared to be doing it effortlessly. He had a terrific sense of humour, he was the types who would say what he wanted to say paying no heed if anyone heard it or not, he never needed the audience.

When I come to think of it, my parents came from very different families but they brought us up together so well. Being born into a family with such rich culture and heritage could have been stifling, but it’s the way we were brought up that took care of things. At the age of 18, it was understood that we would be going out and living alone. We always had our family to fall back upon but we had to be independent.

I learnt to be self-sufficient at a very young age, something that my mom has yet to come to terms with. Being a mother, I won’t say she is a nag – it is a very negative term – but she makes it a point to share her views and make us see things her way, or at least attempt to make us see things her way! She does also repeat things when needed… those might all be the definition of a nag, but she is not a nag, just in case she reads this!

We love each other to bits but we like to maintain our individuality. However, steadily I see myself turning into my mother, the other day I was speaking to my staff, and I got a little disturbed about something and believe me, I sounded just like she does when she is talking to her staff!

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