Spiritual inclination
I think I was always spiritually inclined, but of course, with time the intensity grew. For example, when I was working, I was doing a lot of reading, and those were the building blocks in the foundations of my spiritual journey. Many a time, the trigger for a spiritual journey starts from the setbacks of your life – heartbreaks, sorrows, pains. When things got dark for me and I realised what I have right now with me is not giving me joy, and everything I stepped into was turning into something else… I decided that even though it would be a little difficult not working regularly, I would cut corners and kind of live a more simple life. I wanted to afford to stay away, work less and pursue the spiritual path. But people always think, ‘Oh, one fine day she left and she went to the Himalayas’. But it never happened ‘one fine day’. Suddenly people saw pictures of me with the shaved head during my Buddhism phase, but it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s always a gradual commencement, it’s a long process. And it was parallel because it was happening within the confines of my own heart. As I moved forward on this path, I realised it was easier and easier. It was a very different life from the flash life of a red carpet. The satisfaction was of a different kind. Hence, I didn’t speak about it for the longest time and also because I was in the journey. But today, I feel inspired to share my journey with so many others.
Parallel reality
The first thing, which was kind of a major propeller, was in 2009. I had a vision of Jesus. It wasn’t a dream or hallucination but a vision. It was not anything that is commonly understood. It was a spiritual experience, I was fully aware of where I was. It was afternoon and I was home and I was about to take an afternoon nap and I was aware of two separate realities. In one reality I was in my physical human body – I was sleeping in my house and my family was there, my mom was in the kitchen, my maid was there, my dad was in the office working, my dog was there barking… I was aware of all of this and, at the same time, my spirit or my soul was outside of my body in the different reality, a parallel reality, a different dimension and this dimension is where I encountered Jesus. His entire being was made of light, a lot of light was emitted from his coat and he looked beautiful. He spoke to me…a lot of communication I don’t remember because it was a different language, an energetic language or something but not a human language. Well, the last few words that I remember of him speaking to me was, ‘Dear human, humans make mistakes, we should forgive.’ And he was referring to the many aches and pains that I was going through at that point of time due to my personal and professional life. I have always had difficulty in dealing with people and that has been my biggest challenge in life and he gave me a tool to not be afraid of people.
Change is within you
I’m still human. I have my days. Transformation would be that I have tools now to deal with the days, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have ups and downs because the world hasn’t changed much. It’s changing, it’s transforming and I have an awareness now. For example, earlier when somebody would say crap to me, I would feel so bad and think about it, but today I have the awareness because I look into that person’s eye and I know where the crap is coming from. I can now put myself in their shoes because I have that insight to know that people are the product of their own misery, childhood, circumstances and karma and what they have built for themselves. The biggest transformation that I have had is my passionate and compassionate desire to help others – not as a teacher, preacher or guru but just as a friend. And today, I can see the dawning of wisdom, settlement. There is a certain kind of peace and settlement in my heart and this, despite the fact that I don’t have anything great going on in my life right now. But I have lived through a storm which is called life and I want to share because there are many who don’t have that ray of light and they are drowned. I want to tell people that all is never gone and there is always light at the end of tunnel.
