Shahid Kapoor: I am actually busier as a dad than an actor

Shahid Kapoor: I am actually busier as a dad than an actor

FPJ BureauUpdated: Wednesday, May 29, 2019, 05:53 AM IST
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Photo by Sujit Jaiswal / AFP |

…That’s how Shahid Kapoor sees himself

It has been 15 years for you in the industry, how has the journey been?

I actually feel that I was not very good with my choices in the first 10 years of my career. I got lucky with ‘Kaminey’ and ‘Jab We Met’. Vishal (Bhardwaj) sir was very established at that point of time, but he was considered a parallel filmmaker and not mainstream. And there was nothing that I had done which would make him feel that I could be Guddu and Charlie of ‘Kaminey’. I don’t know what he saw in me. But he came to me and so I think I got lucky there.

Then I started working with Imtiaz Ali. I didn’t know he was going to be the ‘Imtiaz Ali’ he is today – one of the finest talents we’ve had in the last few years. But we happened to meet and Jab We Met came to me. But seriously, I was doing some pretty trashy work at that time – ‘Jab We Met’ saved my a**.

I think in the last four to five years, I have started making choices which are more honest and from the heart, and those choices have brought me a certain amount of appreciation.

Do you think you have managed to tap that ‘ultimate powerhouse performance’ in any film that you’re looking for as an actor?

In the last few years, I’ve played some very complex characters – all of which I felt I was not good enough to play. So for me, I seek that kind of scenario, where I have to raise the bar, I have to get into spaces which are challenging and difficult to justify. And I feel my best work comes out of situations like for example, the speech in ‘Haider’…When Vishal sir gave it to me I was blown away! He has worked with my father, Naseer uncle, Irrfan Khan, and Tabu… the greats. And none of them ever had a two and a half page monologue. And he gave it to me! The kind of pressure that created was immense, but today when I look back I feel it’s one of the most defining moments in my journey as an actor.

Again in ‘Padmaavat’, Sanjay (Leela Bhansali) sir told me when we met, “Shahid, just do this film, it is right for you at this point in your career. And I really didn’t think of anybody else to play the character of Maharawal Ratan Singh but you. I think you’re right for it, and I just think you should do it. And trust me you will do it.” There was so much credibility that comes with him as a filmmaker that I didn’t really need to think at all. So I can very proudly say that yes, I am very, very happy and very grateful and thankful that I was a part of ‘Padmaavat’.

As an actor, do you feel insecure?

No, no that’s a very irritating way of looking at things yaar. My insecurities come from whether I am going to be able to do what needs to be done and whether I am making the right choices. I feel insecure about things like, have I taken the right decision? Am I working with the right people? Am I doing the right content? I was very insecure when I did Udta Punjab because I’ve never had a sip of alcohol, forget drugs. I don’t even know what it feels to be intoxicated. And I was playing Tommy Singh who was permanently high. So, I felt very inadequate to play that character on the basis of my personal experience as I had no way of drawing a parallel. The only thing I could do is depend on my filmmaker and my instincts as an actor. But yes… those kinds of things makes me feel insecure. But not where other actors are concerned. I actually feel very inspired when I see good performances. You have to see something special to feel driven. So, my insecurities are never to do with other actors.

When a film doesn’t do well at the box office, does it affect you?

Yes, it’s heart-breaking. It makes you angry, sad, and frustrated. It breaks my heart simply because I’ve given so much of myself to this and it gives me nothing back. It’s very difficult to deal with. But that’s life!

You had a love-hate relationship with Kangana in ‘Rangoon’. What is your relationship with her now?

I worked with her as an artist, and I appreciate and admire her as an actor. But beyond that, I really don’t want to say anything more.

As an actor, you’re very busy now. How do you manage to balance your personal and professional life?

I am actually busier as a dad than an actor, I think! But I also happen to act sometimes – that’s how I look at my life.

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