Rahul Roy tells Dinesh Raheja that the learning from his relationship will help others

The original Aashiqui boy, Rahul Roy, is now going to exchange notes on relationships in a YouTube show ‘Rishtey by Rahul’. Since he and I share a rishta that is now three decades old, Rahul bares his heart to me.

Tell me all about your show, ‘Rishtey by Rahul Roy’.

‘Rishtey by Rahul Roy’ is a platform where I hope to bring people together to discuss the many aspects of relationships. Not just boyfriend-girlfriend relationships but one’s relationship with a sibling, a parent or even a co-worker. I would like to be non-judgmental and hope that everyone learns to relate better by talking about their relationship issues.  I feel the problem is that no one is listening any more. The lack of a conversation is affecting us.

Why do you consider yourself an authority on relationships?

I would like to admit that I am not technically qualified (to be a relationship expert). I am as messed up as the people out there. My own life hasn’t been perfect by a mile but hopefully my learning from my experiences will help others. I am also a work in progress. We need to understand ourselves, and be brutally honest with ourselves; and thereafter we can deal with our other rishtey.

‘Relationship Guru’ Rahul Roy: Living-in is fine but people need to give each other space to breathe

Was the decision to separate from your wife Rajalaxmi an overdue one or was it a more recent development?

My marriage simply didn’t work over a period of time. I don’t blame her because after the first couple of years itself we started drifting apart. I probably didn’t do enough but in hindsight maybe I should have taken the step to divorce earlier. However, divorce is a difficult step especially since she is a wonderful girl. Perhaps I couldn’t hold on to the initial spark. Today, I only wish her the best.

Do you enjoy your new-found bachelorhood?

I have adjusted to my current lifestyle. A typical day in my life would begin with breathing exercises followed by breakfast, meeting people for branding of my films, lunch, a few more meetings, the drive back home, a run in the evening, early dinner, watching TV or reading, and hitting the bed.

Any desire to remarry or be in a relationship again?

At this moment, no relationship and no marriage, not because I’m bitter or scared, it’s just that I’m getting to know myself. Due to certain traumatic experiences in my childhood, I created a wall to ensure I didn’t get emotionally hurt. As a result, I wasn’t able to connect at a deeper level in my relationships.

Let me be the first to ask you a relationship query. What is your advice to people who are contemplating living-in?

Living-in is fine but people need to give each other space to breathe.

What are your other assignments and should we expect any film releases this year?

I’m completing three films, Sayoni, Night & Fog and Rehbar. And I am hoping for more good films to go on the floors.

What has been your relationship with fame?

My relationship with fame has been dizzying, it has been a short but intense love story.  A love story gone bad which I can’t forget and let go.

Are there any permanent relationships in the film industry?

Relationships last as long as there is a need; whether it is the need for companionship or work. If you don’t get something out of it, it dies. Also it’s a two way process, one person being understanding doesn’t suffice.

There was a time when you were known as Mahesh Bhatt’s blue-eyed boy. What is your equation with him today?

Bhatt sa’ab was, is, and will always remain my go-to person. I’ve always trusted him and still do. My equation with him isn’t based on the films we do together. Of course I always want to work with him but a film with him will happen when it’s supposed to. I will always remain grateful that he taught me to walk. It’s time I learn to walk in today’s style.

The only lifelong relationship that remains constant is with oneself. Do you agree or is that a very cynical view?

Yes, the only relationship that means anything is the one you have with yourself. If it isn’t an honest relationship the one with self — you will screw up time and again.