Dear woke people,
Yeah, I am talking to you. Yes, you. The person who has written he/him, she/her in his/her bio. You might as well write virtue-signalling g****.
That’d be more accurate than anti-Aadhaar, intersectional feminist, anti-caste, anti-ice-cream, anti-avocado, pro-gluten, pro-LGBTQI+, Free Kashmir, Free Palestine or whatever strange gobbledygook you’ve come up with to justify your sad existence.
You care as much about Kashmir as you do about Palestine or whatever pet cause, you’ve picked up this week. But this is not about that.
Just because you’ve opposing thumbs after millennia of evolution, doesn’t mean you’ve to tweet every time a celebrity passes away. Stop treating every event as an exhibition sport to display your wokeness. We get it, you were hurt as a child. Talk to your therapist (who really would need another therapist after listening to your nonsense).
When a celebrity dies, we are not just mourning the celebrity. We are mourning parts of ourselves. We are mourning a lost childhood. We are being nostalgic about how he or she made us feel at some point in time.
Rishi Kapoor made a lot of people feel a lot of things. He was so popular that the government would show his movie to prevent people from going to Opposition rallies!
For a generation of women, he taught the meaning of romance, making them fall in love despite a cherubic face and pudgy exterior which is in stark contrast to the chiselled superheroes of today.
The last thing we need at that moment is a jackass who thinks he has some greater right to speak just because he wrote intersectional in his bio, a rainbow in his DP and submitted a paper on the evils of the Land Acquisition Bill at TISS.
Yes, we realise that your life’s sole meaning comes only from shitting on people; but try and keep it in your pants.
Criticise the actor all you want, but don't expect people to salute you. And don’t pretend like this is about the actor who passed away.
This is about you. You are not woke because you want to improve society, you are woke because you are an annoying git who craves validation and the oxygen of publicity 24/7 by crapping on everything and everyone.
The moment news filtered in of Rishi Kapoor’s untimely demise, hot takes started pouring in faster than cheap beer at a party to celebrate the death of poor CRPF jawans.
Was Rishi Kapoor casteist? Did he eat beef? Remember when he abused a girl on DM? When you choose the moment of his demise to launch your Woke Olympics, you simply shine a light on your pathetic existence.
Imagine a close relative passed away and the first thing people did was come out and list out his faults. Because that’s how millions felt about Rishi Kapoor. Like, he was a family member, the loquacious uncle or the happy brother.
Rishi Kapoor lost it because someone mocked his son’s movie. Just because you keep repeating the words ‘cis’, ‘hetero’, ‘savarna’, 'mediocrity', 'capitalist', 'uncle' and 'caste-privilege' in different combinations doesn’t mean you are making sense.
Nor does publishing one listicle in Buzzfeed make you a caste warrior. Caste is real, we (including this author) are aware of our privilege.
Yes, Rishi Kapoor was wrong to abuse someone who mocked his son’s upcoming venture. He shouldn’t have done that. Yes, Kapoor asked Shashi Tharoor his caste in school. He didn’t know better. You can’t crucify him on his death more than half a century later for that.
Yes, he was given to erratic behaviour on Twitter, but to make everything about caste privilege is like blaming every ailment on smoking or every issue in modern India on Narendra Modi and BJP.
Kapoor wasn’t a perfect human being; he was flawed like all of us are. But if you choose the moment of his death to simply remember his faults, you are telling us more about yourself than you are about him.
For the record, not everyone in this world is Sanghi or Congi. The world, to quote Sirius Black (whose creator you’ve also cancelled) isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters.
In fact, if you see the decimation of ‘woke’ candidates around the world in every democracy of note, it should tell you just how much the world cares about your mindless hot-takes.
Read: Other Nonsensical Nemo columns
Ever since he was a kid, Nirmalya Dutta always dreamt he would be the new Bob Dylan. Sadly, he soon realised, he was only a freewheeling brat asking his dad for freebies.
The author is the Web Editor the Free Press Journal and tweets at @nirmalyadutta23.
The views expressed are his own.