Alone but free, thoughtful but catty, spirited and alive – A Rekha like you might have never seen before, straight from the Cine Blitz files of 1993.
Life does not begin with birth or end with death. It’s a process of living, controlling your present, determining your future and dramatically changing your life. It’s growing and developing through those incalculable myriads of experiences.
“I’ve been bestowed with more than what others get and now it’s up to me how I maintain it. You know it’s easy to get away with negative points, but when you have so many good qualities in you, you must make use of them. That’s what I’m doing. It’s easy to say it’s a blessing. But there are so many people who are blessed with beauty but they don’t discipline themselves. In my case, I have no vices, no sidetracks.
“As long as you have the ability to think, you are never alone. If you have the sense and sanity to mix colours and bring out a totally new shade, it means you are alive. And as long as you are alive, in the sense that I am, you can’t be lonely. There’s so much to think of.
“Well, I can’t exactly say it’s enjoyable. But there are definitely moments of solitude which I relish. I too need company. I am human, aren’t I?
“But there are timeswhen one enjoys being alone. I have nobody to push me around, telling me what to do. I sleep or get up when I want to. I paint, I listen to music or I read a book. So it is a nice feeling to be living alone. But at the same time, I don’t take undue advantage of my freedom. One could have boyfriends if one wanted to, but that’s not in my nature. One has to rise in one’s own eyes. As each and every thought, action and step counts.
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. It could be anyone or anything that you don’t necessarily have to see or talk to. For instance, my mother is no longer with me. But every time I think of her I smile, I feel inspired… Why even a hawa ka jhoka with mogre ki khushboo can thrill me to bits. I think if you have the sensitivity to notice and feel these little things they can be your best friends forever.
“Socialising, I think, is a sheer waste of time and energy. Some people are such hypocrites. Daaru pilayenge, khana khillayenge and then will praise you, ‘Tusi great ho ji, tusi pope ho’ and the very next moment, they will bitch behind your back. I’m not interested in such a social life. I have a handful of friends and am proud of them. It’s better to have a few close friends than a bunch of parasites who live off you, drink your booze and then gaali dete hai. Groupism makes me laugh. Also since I’m living alone, I have to be more careful about who comes home and who doesn’t.
“Every woman dreams of these things. Whether she’s a Rekha or a beggar woman, she’ll want to be a complete woman, a wife and mother. But what matters is the ability to make your dreams come true. I too thought I’d marry and have kids. But that was my dream. I tried marriage but it failed. So for me, to marry will be like Gautam Buddha trying to be Dawood Ibrahim. Time and again, it has been proved that God has not willed my life to be ordinary.
“Money is very important; it can buy you a lot. Yes, even happiness at times. But there has to be a limit to your wants. By wanting more and more you could end up losing whatever you have. In my case, I’ve had the good fortune of having enough money ever since I started earning. I may not have got a chance to save, but I’ve never taken money for granted. I value every penny I’ve earned and have invested it wisely. And money is not what makes you financially secure; it’s how you utilise it.