Stress is the new disease of our times. Rarely do you find a person who is not struggling with his or her own stress on an everyday basis? Be it professional, personal, financial, emotional or anything else; stress has found its way in our households from all directions possible and is in control of our thoughts, words and actions. We fall prey to this monster, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. It builds up inside you like a silent volcano and one day might catch you unaware. Engulfing your physical, mental and emotional health into its lava; sometimes permanently damaging all. The interpersonal relationships which suffer because of this trauma called stress are sometimes beyond repair.
Identify the cause
Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.
In this materialistic world, when your happiness is measured by the number of ‘likes’ on your social media and your happiness always falls short of others who ‘appear’ to be happier than you, one might feel deprived of materialistic pleasures this world has to offer. This often might result into anger and frustration, when a sense of failure creeps in. Have you tried to analyse why? The reason is simple. You are scared or rather not equipped to face your shortcomings and come to terms with your limitations. Perhaps, you see and imagine yourself at a certain pedestal, but in reality, you are far away from it.
The restlessness builds up resulting in anger, depression, frustration and sometimes violence. In this storm of dissatisfaction, one fails to recognise that perhaps the efforts put in to reach your goal are not enough. Moreover, what one achieves in life is not only connected to the efforts you put in to succeed, but to your attitude towards success and failures, and also your sensitivity towards fellow beings and their happiness. Selfish motives and prayers are never answered.
We have witnessed many cases of domestic violence around us, where the husband blames all his failures to his wife and holds her responsible for whatever is going wrong in his life; and sometimes vice versa as well. Who are these people who keep passing the buck? Surely one amongst us, who for some reason do not wish to be held responsible for their own mistakes and lack of maturity to learn from their past mistakes, be patient and start afresh. Such people are actually running away from their own guilt. Blaming others sets them free in their own mind, not realising what their cowardly act of passing the buck is doing to the person they are blaming their failures on. The person who is blamed is reduced to nothing but merely a punching bag, sometimes in literal sense of the word, to take out the other person’s agitation. The ‘punch bag’ loses his/her own identity in the process, along with his/her dignity and self-esteem and self-confidence.
If you are able to relate to anything mentioned here, it’s about time to pull up the strings and put a full stop to all this whimsical thoughts and actions. Neither be a bully nor a victim, because the end of the day there would be suffering in any case. It is as bad to be a doormat as it is to make somebody one. It is important to hold your self-esteem, pride and dignity in all situations; do not stoop down to a lower level of human existence, where all that matters is your materialistic success and abundance and your happiness but a slave to the outside world. Always remember that no amount of materialistic happiness will be able to give you peace of mind if the inner you is not at peace with the core of your existence.
It is very easy to lose control over your emotions in both the cases – to lose temper and act in a beastly manner blaming your behaviour on your situations and circumstances and it is also easy to be a victim and become bitter about everything around you. But it takes a lot of courage and efforts to hold on to your sanity and wisdom. It is very easy to let lose the animal in you and defy all the rules which differentiate a human from other living species who lack the intellect and survive only on the basic instinct of eating, sleeping and making babies; but you automatically elevate your spiritual quotient if you take charge of your emotions and do not react but respond as is required in a given circumstance. You might want to take the easy way out by blasting off; but if you really want to resolve the issues in your life which are bothering the hell out of you, you need to be in your senses to understand and look at the situations from a perspective other than your own, which can happen only with a cool head and a cool mind and stand up for yourself with dignity which is associated with, being human.
Hold on to your honour
Every and anyone can act in the desired manner while being in the comfort zone and when things go as per one’s desire, the real test lies in holding on to your dignity while stress takes the better of you, clouds your mind, overshadows your reasoning and drives you up the wall, bringing you to the yield point, when you are just about to snap off. It is when such a situation comes in your forefront, do you actually get to know your own true self. It matters when you hold on your patience, perseverance, and a sense of acceptance and contentment when things are not going your way and stress has completely taken over you. It is at such times do you realise if you were pretending to be a person with grace and values all the while, not only to the world but to your own self as well.
Do you deserve that success?
It is true that if you are unable to bear stress, you will be unable to handle success if at all you achieve some. Stress handling in a way is actually the threshold to success. It is only when you learn to handle yourself in adversities, do you deserve the success of your dreams. Moreover, the materialistic gains are not the benchmark of anyone’s success or failures; it is the divinity in you which shines through the entire process of ups and downs, which makes all the difference.
Always remember when you are just about to give up that there is a lot of stress out there, let it not take away the person that you are, believe in yourself. Hold on to your dignity, hold on to your divinity, because that is what makes you what you truly are.
Remember, it’s not the load which breaks you down but the way you carry it.