‘Tis time to sharpen my bloody red finger nails and bare my bleached white fangs… Bollywood is my fave goss-hunting ground. There is so much simpering ‘n’ simmering happening in Tinselville… the overdose of saccharine sweetness has peaked my sugar to dangerous levels. Don’t believe me? Well, just take an insta peek at the virtual posts of our friendly neighbourhood film stars.
Crimson red plastic pouts ‘n’ Cupid bow smiles… empty air kisses ‘n’ fake hugs… Oooh… so much love… But woe betide, this ‘too much’ bonhomie has got my evil cauldron of bitchiness bubbling over. So, let me reel in my net and unsheathe the ‘real from the reel’… Here goes…
Talking about drowning careers, our boy Sidharth Malhotra is indeed in the doldrums. Godfather KJo refuses to give him the time of day any more. Ex GF Alia has wiped him off her memory and is happily cavorting with the Sanju boy. So poor Siddy is sitting in a corner and sulkily sucking his thumb. He is so banking on his film The Vikram Batra biopic where he’s playing a double role. Ahem, one Siddy boy has proved to be a colossal flop… imagine two? Double trouble, I say!
Double trouble, I believe are the ‘Paltan’ boys Sonu Sood and Arjun Rampal. Though they insist to all ‘n’ sundry that they are the best of chuddy buddies, but supposedly, all is not well at the borders there. When one’s back is turned, the other snipes and swipes at the other, and the game of one ‘upmanship’ continues so much so that there seems to be a mini war happening here. But duhhh… why fight, I say? Both their careers are anyway fighting a losing battle at the LoC. Who cares who wins this lost battle?
Hollywood returned Piggy Chops has got herself engaged in the ‘Nick’ of time. No wonder, she’s been waving her ‘ring finger’ maniacally around so much these days. So much so that a catty actress who matched pouts with Priyanka Chopra on insta just the other day, bitchily commented, “At 36, PeeCee’s motherly instincts are in full force. No wonder, she’s hanging on to boy wonder Nick Jonas for dear life. Besides, cradle snatching is another way of being in the spotlight, right?”
Ah… that’s mean… But the poor gal is definitely gasping ‘n’ grasping at straws. Supposedly, her Hollywood career – despite the bombastic announcements of her signing a film with Cowboy Ninja Viking Chris Pratt – is going nowhere. In fact, according to deep throated whispers from our catty cousins in the Wild West, this film may not see the light of day as the producers have taken it off their release calendar. And to think PeeCee did the un ‘Bharat’ like thingie ‘n’ crossed swords with the Sultan of Bollywood, walking out of his film for this biggie. …Maybe it’s time for her to gracefully walk into the sunset, again, in the ‘Nick’ of time ….before the darkness envelops her dubaoing filmi career.
Boys will be boys. Just look at that Farhan chap. After his divorce, he’s been doing a Bhaag Milka Bhaag, chasing after all the girls…. Size, shape or age no bar… just girls, bar bar. Just when he was spotted dancing ’round trees with Shraddha, Kalki popped out of the woodwork. Just when the Kochelin factor got too hot to handle, he’s been seen having a panting session on the dance floor in London with the sexy Shibani Dandekar. However, with Farhan one never knows, just when some lass tries to pin him down, he moves on to the next pretty thing. But then again, he’s been legally free after 16 years…
Ms Patani is not accepting defeat yet… in fact, her disha is pretty clear cut and veers on to the Tiger. And though Tiger’s parents prefer to be Disha ‘less’, the roaring striped Baaghi from the jungle is supposedly confused about his disha. He seems to be veering towards an itsy bitsy pretty model now. But no, Disha being the one with the disha, is having none of this. Pretty possessive over her Tiger, she supposedly has deployed her watchdogs to keep an eye on him and his shenanigans. But Tiger is still going huntin’ at night. Nawty boy! That’s all for now, peeps… Signing off with the red-hot promise to deliver more smokin’ hot goss, next time. Cheerio!