Indore: “All that we go through in life keeps getting accumulated to shape us. It affects our behaviour, choices and relationships. Thus a better understanding of our minds can truly liberate us,” said Dr Sandeep Atre while analysing the movie ‘Dear Zindagi’ screened under a management film show organised by Indore Management Association (IMA) on Tuesday at Hotel Radisson Blue. Dr Atre is the founder-director of Socialigence, a venture specialising in development of Social & Emotional Intelligence. He is also one of the founders of CH Edge Makers and author of two books– ‘Understanding Emotions Logically’ and ‘Observing Nonverbal Behaviour’.
Moderating the session, Atre threw lights on various aspects of the film, which provided some important management lessons to the audience. He further argued that “The time now is all about Social and Emotional Intelligence. We have to assess the perception, behaviour and choices of ourselves and others in terms of conditioning and transference, and then resolve the issues through catharsis and re-patterning.” He concluded his talk by sharing some key points in developing social and emotional intelligence with simple examples. They are as follows:
■ Conditioning: None of us comes pre-assembled. We are initiated by our genes and are conditioned by our early experiences and environment. They create reference points of our lives in the form of memories. These memories shape our attitudes and reactions. For example, if a boy finds his parents quarreling every Sunday then he would develop a repulsion towards Sundays.
■ Transference: Whatever happens in our life keeps getting accumulated and then resurfaces indirectly. As a result, we tend to project our stored feelings on other people. For example, a female professional who as a little girl was dominated during her formative years by her loud-talking elder brother’ would subconsciously detest loudtalking colleagues or will freeze in meetings if any male colleague would raise voice-volume.
■ Catharsis: Emotions are ‘energy in motion’. And unless they are released, they keep disturbing one’s mental & emotional stability. So, it is important to give outlet to them, either regularly by activities like writing, talking and physical activities or by formal introspection and retrospection in presence of a mentor.
■ Re-patterning: Brain stores information by forming patterns. And if the experience happens repeatedly, the connections get stronger. Thus, it is important to find and acknowledge the old connections, and then create newer ones by gradual change or deliberate choice of a new end for the old script. For example, if a person has become shy due to conditioning and transference then it is important to meet new people and increase their number incrementally.